What Should Have Been, The Slayer's Journal
by kathypg
Summary: B/S COMPLETE- Buffy gets to see what happens to AU B/S during seasons 1&2. B/S Set after season 6 Hells Bells. Chapter 19 is up.
1. Default Chapter Meeting an Old Acquaint...

What Should Have Been

by kathypg

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon. Only the rewrite of some BtVS stories belong to me.

Chapter 1

Meeting an Old Acquaintance 

Buffy walked down Revello Drive. She had just finished patrol and wanted nothing more than to take a bubble bath and fall into her nice soft bed. As she walked up to her front porch she could see that she had a visitor making himself at home. Just great I don't want to deal with him she thought. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

Whistler took several steps toward her and replied "Came to have a little chat." 

"Well the last time we had a chat, I ended up sending my boyfriend to hell" she replied bitterly.

He looked down at his feet and said "Sorry kid it couldn't be helped." She turned her back on him and started to enter her house. "Hey kid don't you even what to know why I came?" She stopped but didn't turn to look at him. 

"It's always games with you people. Who do I have to kill this time?" she stated with sadness in her voice. 

"It's a long story maybe you could invite me in for coffee" replied Whistler. She didn't say a word but opened door and walked in leaving it open for him to follow. He entered her home and shut the door behind him. He followed her into the kitchen and she started to make coffee without saying a word. She gestured for him to take a seat. 

"Do you take cream or sugar?" she asked as she handed him his coffee. 

"Black is fine." He took several sips and look up at the young woman in front of him. "I guess I should start the telling." She nodded but remained silent. "You know how there are alternate universes? If I remember you had some experience with a vampire Willow from one of them."

"It sounds like you have been keeping tabs on us" she replied flippantly. 

"I'll take that as a yes to knowing that alternate universes exist. As far as the tabs, I hear things. You must also realize that the Powers That Be do not know exactly what the future holds. They have probabilities and the knowledge of many seers and prophecies" he stated while staring into his coffee. 

"If you're here to tell me it is prophesied that I die, been there done that twice." 

He shook his head and answered "No nothing like that kid. Like I told you it is a story. It is about Buffy, but it isn't your story."

"Ha" replied Buffy with a confused look on her face. 

"Alternate universe, alternate Buffy. Is it making sense now?" he stated while looking into her sad hazel eyes. 

A look of contempt came over Buffy's face as she jumped out of her chair and started to pace around the room. Whistler watched the girl and wondered what was going through her mind but opted to let her tell him in her own good time. She stopped in front of him. She had one hand on her hip and the other one on the kitchen island. With her most resolved Buffy face she looked him in the eyes and said, "So you're here to compare me the alternate universe Buffy. What can she do, save the World with one hand and cook up gourmet dinners with the other, while using her toes to balance the checkbook and dazzle her employers at her high paying job?" 

She continued to stare at Whistler. He was dumbfounded, but finally snapped out of it and told her "No Buffy, I'm here to tell you how I messed up your life." 

TBC


	2. Do You Want To Know

Chapter 2

Do You Want To Know 

If he had tossed a bucket of ice water on her she couldn't have been more surprised. "Buffy let me rephrase that. The interactions that I had with Angel changed the course of your life and the lives of those around you. You will have to judge whether it was for the better or worse. If you would rather not know than I'll say my good-byes now." She stared at him a lost and desolate expression on her face. He continued "If at any time you want me to stop I will." 

Buffy got up from her chair and walked over to look out the window. She couldn't believe he was doing this to her. Wasn't her life a big enough mess without knowing what might have been? "How do you even know what would have happened? Did you get out the magic 8 ball and ask what would Buffy's life be like if I hadn't done this or that? Whistler I'm not interested in what might have been. I have more than my share of regrets as it is. If there is something you need to tell me to stop an apocalypse or save a bunch of school kids I'll listen, but if you just need to tell me to ease your own guilt you can forget it." 

"It is not that simple kid. What I know may help you make decisions in the future" he stated as he looked up to see how well she was taking the information he had given her thus far. 

"Well that is a whole bunch of what ifs. Lets start with something simple like how do you know?" she asked him.

"I had the opportunity to meet my double from another dimension. The how is not important. What is important is that he made a different decision from the one I did and my decision shaped your life" he answered. 

"So your telling me you made the wrong decision and he made the right one?" Buffy implored. 

"I do not know which one was right. Maybe both maybe neither" he responded. 

"That's why I love you guys, you couldn't be just a little more vague" Buffy voiced. 

"It is up to you Buffy. Would you like to hear what happened to the other Buffy?" he questioned. 

She sat down and picked up her coffee cup. She gazed into the black liquid for a few minutes before she quietly answered his question. "This is something I probably don't want to hear, but if I don't let you tell me I will wonder for the rest of my life how her life was different." She let out a soft sad chuckle and looked up at the demon sitting across from her. "Tell your story demon boy. I promise not to hurt you too much no matter how bad it gets."


	3. The Devil Shows Up with Bright Blue Eyes

Chapter 3

The Devil Shows Up With bright Blue Eyes

"Like I said this story starts out with Angel. We knew Angel was special. He was prophesied to be a deciding factor in a major apocalypse. However, it could go either way. Whichever team had him on their side would fair better. The sooner we got him on our team the better. Our seers knew that he would fight along side the slayer, but instead of waiting for him to meet the slayer on his own I speeded it up a little. I found him and brought him to you. I gave him something to live and fight for. That something was to help protect you. You were so young and innocent. I pulled all the strings. Told him you were just a kid and it would be hard for you. He was in a bad place and you gave him a purpose. A way to make up for some of the wrongs he did in the past." Whistler stopped talking and studied Buffy's face. She had a far away look in her eyes and gave him a half smile when she realized he had stopped talking and was watching her.

He smiled back and continued his story. 

"We knew that it was prophesied that you would meet the Master and die. I thought that maybe with Angel watching your back it might work out for you kid. You died anyway, but you were brought back. So we got our happy ending. I was patting myself on the back for that one. We got Angel on our side, the slayer kills the Master and all's right with the world." 

"I hate to burst your bubble but that was all good" Buffy interrupted him. 

"Yes it was kid, but don't you remember what happened next after you and Angel made with the smoochies?" he said. 

Buffy face fell and she replied "Angelus came out to play." She didn't make eye contact with Whistler as she asked "So what did the other Buffy do?"

"My counterpart did not find the need to bring Angel to you, so that Buffy never meet him until after the Master was dead" he answered. 

"Ok, so if there is no Angel how did she survive? Angel saved my life. Angel gave me information about the Master. I would not have won without him" she insisted. 

"This is where it gets interesting. I never saw this coming, but the other Buffy made a deal with the devil to stop an apocalypse." He paused and continued "The devil in question goes by the name of Spike" he proclaimed. 

Buffy glared at Whistler "That is not possible Spike wasn't even around when I fought the Master. He was off somewhere with his precious Drucilla. What are you trying to pull? If this is some game so help me I'll…"

Whistler raised his hand and interrupted her by asserting "No games. In that universe Spike and Drucilla ended up in Sunnydale about the same time you did." She sat shaking her head as he continued. "You see in your world they were detained a little by me. I thought you had enough on your plate with Darla, the Master, and the anointed one. I didn't want you to have to deal with those two at the same time. I was helping."

"I guess you were if it kept Spike and Drucilla out of my hair. The Master was enough of a pain in my ass" she told him. "But what I don't understand is why Spike would make a deal with Buffy. It was not like Angel was there to take Dru from him?"

Whistler pulled a loosely bound book from his coat. He opened it to one of the many places that had visible bookmarks. He inquired "would you like to see some of the other Buffy's journal entries?" Buffy shook her head yes and Whistler continued "This is what she said about her first meeting Spike." He slid the book across the table and she silently started to read it. 


	4. We Could Have Danced

Chapter 4

We Could Have Danced

Buffy removed the bookmark and started to read the journal.

***

__

I was going to the Bronze. It was the place were everyone hung out in Sunnydale. My new friend Cordilia suggested I join her. That is where I saw him for the first time. He had to be the most arrogant man I've ever met. I knew I was being followed, so I waited for the right moment to make my move. I slammed my stalker against the wall of the alley, my right hand secured around his neck. 

"Why are you following me?" I asked as I looked up at his face. I wasn't sure what I expected to see, but I sure wasn't expecting to see an arrogant grin and mocking eyes staring back at me. 

He replied "Just out for a walk luv." I didn't like his answer, so I squeezed harder on his neck. He started to laugh like it was some kind of joke and I missed the punch line. I released him and stepped back. I didn't like the way he was making me feel. He continued to study me like some kind of prized cow at the local fair. 

With his head cocked to one side and that cocky grin plastered on his face he continued to study me. Finally I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and said "What?" He didn't answer, so I finally said, "I better not catch you following me again." All I could think was how lame am I. I turned quickly and started heading out of the alley. I needed to distance myself from him. 

I had barely taken three steps when I head him say; "I know what you are." That got my attention. I calmed myself and slowly turned to face him. Some of his cocky attitude had been replaced with curiosity. 

I was angry now and told him so "You don't know anything." 

"Don't I. I know you are a warrior, but you're way out of your league here. You probably don't even know where you're standing right now," he added as his eyes burned into mine. When I didn't reply he continued "Do you even know what a hell mouth is?" He was right I didn't know. My mind was racing and before I could come up with anything he retorted, " Didn't think so. I'll give you some advice out of the goodness of my heart luv, be ready for the Harvest."

I was pissed at his condescending attitude and told him so. "You think you are so smart. I've kicked my share of demon ass. Even dusted a master." Why did I tell him that? Could I get any lamer? 

He laughed at me and said, "It's too bad."

"Ok, I'll bite what's too bad?" I inquired while giving this arrogant man my most resolved face. 

He shook his head slightly and told me, "You and me, we could have danced but.." he paused and added, " I have other plans." 

Of all the nerve to think I would dance with him. Who did he think he was? Ok so he does have the brightest blue eyes and a sexy British accent, but that does not mean I would even notice. I was gazing at my shoes trying to come up the best comeback in the world. "Why would I dance with you, you look like …" but I was talking to myself, he was gone. I didn't even get his name. It doesn't matter I hated him on sight. 

I figured he was one of Giles' friends. Maybe someone from the Watchers council. After all they are both British. However, Giles had no idea who he was. Giles is doing the research on the Harvest. He will figure out what it is and I will kick some butt. I'll show Mr. blue eyes, who thinks he's God's gift, who is bad. 

***

Buffy looked up at Whistler. "So Spike warned her about the Harvest. He must have wanted something from her to do that. Spike always has an angle. As interesting as this story is I'm not getting why I need to know this stuff?"

"Kid I told you it was a long story. That was just the beginning. If you want to stop you can. I won't think any less of you," he added. 

"You know Whistler that you are a bastard. You deliberately picked this passage for me to read first knowing full well I would keep reading to figure out what Spike was up to." 

He smiled and asked; "Did it work?" She never answered him but instead went to the next section he had bookmarked and started to read.


	5. One Dance Is Not Enough

Chapter 5

One Dance Is Not Enough

Buffy continued to read from the alternative Universe Buffy's journal. 

***

__

It had been almost two weeks since I have seen that British bad boy. Giles still has no idea who he is. Giles figured he had been passing through town and was long gone. He was probably someone with a little knowledge that didn't want to get involved. That is why I was surprised to see him at the Bronze last night. He was wearing the same long black leather coat. I happen to glance his way when Xander, Willow and I were talking. He was staring at me like I was the only thing in the room. It was so intense I had to look away. I got Willow's attention and told her "Don't look, but do you see the guy over by the pillar? The one in the long black coat with the bleached blond hair." 

Willow tried not to look too obvious as she checked out the blond guy across the room. She asked me "Who is it?" 

I told her it was my mystery guy. Xander thought he looked like a Billy Idol want to be, but Willow thought he was kind of cute. I told her he was if you like that bad boy type. I decided to go to him, because it didn't look like he was going to head my way. 

His eyes never left me as I moved toward him. When I was a few feet from him he looked me up and down and made no pretense about what he was doing. I should have been insulted, but a part of me enjoyed the way he looked at me. I was the first one to speak," I didn't think I would see you again." 

"Why is that luv?' he replied softly while drinking in my eyes. 

"I don't know. You show up give me some vague information and disappear. I don't even know your name," I added like I didn't really care what his name was. 

He smiled and tilted his head just a little and seductively told me "The last time we met I told you it was too bad we wouldn't get a chance a dance. Dance with me luv and I might be persuaded to tell you my name."

I took a moment to reply then said "Maybe I don't want to dance with you or care what your name is."

"Then why are you even talking to me? There are all these nice young boys you could be with, but instead your standing here with me," he replied a little brusquely.

I didn't know what to say so I started babbling, "You were staring at me and… I was curious. You know…about how you got your information… on the Harvest. It seemed to work out…I mean I kicked some vampire ass. Do you know what a vampire is?" 

That got a little smile from him and he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You know my price?" With his words a shiver ran down my spine and I nodded yes. "So luv, do we have a go at it, or not?" he asked.

I shook my head yes and he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. The music was loud and hard and our bodies never missed a beat. He reminded me of a predator. Something I should fear, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. The fast song ended and a slow melody began to play. He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. I'm sure he could feel me shiver as his hands caressed my back and arms. I was so lost in the feel of him I almost missed his question. "Do you like this song luv?" 

I pulled away from him enough to look up into his beautiful face and say, "Its Buffy….my name and yes I love this song." He smiled and my heart melted. He tightened his hold on me and we continued to dance. Neither of us said a word as the music continued to play. When the song ended he pulled away saying, "I have to go lu…. Buffy." I didn't want him to go yet. It must have shown on my face, because his left hand came up and caressed my cheek and he said, "My name is Spike. And to answer your other question, yes I know what vampires are. And Buffy… thank you for the dance." He dropped his hand and gave me a pensive look as he turned and left the club. 

I don't know what to think. Xander believes he is big trouble, with a capital B. He also asked me who would call himself Spike? However, Willow considers it romantic. All I know is I want to see him again. No I take that back. I have to see him again. 

***

Buffy closed the book and looked up at Whistler. He had sat quietly while she read the passage. "Can I get you some coffee or something else?" she asked him. 

"No I'm fine. I'm sure you have questions. I might even be able to answer them" he prompted her. 

She shook her head, stood and got another cup of coffee for herself. Whistler waited knowing she needed the time. When she finally spoke she uttered "She is falling for him." She than unceremoniously plopped down in her chair.

"And you see a problem with that?" Whistler questioned her.

She glared at him spouting " Yes, just a bit. You know vampire and slayer moral enemies or did you miss that lesson in the flunky's for the Powers that Be school? It's Spike for crying out…"

She was cut off as the kitchen door flew open and Willow and Dawn came bustling in with a couple bags of groceries. "What did Spike do now and who is this?" her sister asked.

Buffy was caught off guard, but recovered quickly. "This is Whistler and Whistler this is Willow and my sister Dawn." 

"Are you that demon friend of Angel's?" Willow inquired.

"One in the same" he replied giving both girls a friendly smile. 

"Oh goddess does that mean…… trouble is coming? I'm not saying that you are trouble. But the last time you were here we had to stop an apocalypse. Buffy had to send Angel to hell than Buffy left. I'm recovering from a magic addition and…." Willow went on until Buffy cut her off. 

"Willow no apocalypse. Just a little reading" Buffy said trying to put Willow's anxiety to rest. 

"Ok, that tells me who he is, but what does it have to do with Spike? Don't tell me he has done something stupid again" Dawn demanded.

"Nothing, no Spike….it has nothing to do with our Spike" she said while looking at the book in her hand. 

"What's with the book then?" Dawn inquired. 

Buffy's eyes went to Whistler and he answered Dawn's question "It is a slayer's journal. I brought it for Buffy to read."

"Gee for a minute there I thought it might be something interesting. Giles had a lot of them. Spike showed me how to pick the lock and I read the ones….." Dawn stopped talking realizing what she had said. "Buffy it wasn't like he did anything wrong. You never know when picking locks will come in handy and ….I'll shut up now." Buffy glared at her.

Willow tried to redirect the conversation by asking, "Which slayer does the journal belong to?"

Whistler jumped in and replied "Buffy." Both Willow and Dawn gawked at him.

"It's not mine. It's a Buffy from another dimension" she told them. Both girls were all over her wanting to see what the book said, however Buffy wouldn't let them have it. "I don't want anyone to see it until I've had a chance to read all of it. I'm not sure I want anyone to see it even than."

"That is just like you. Little Dawn can't see or do anything. I guess I'll leave you with your precious book" Dawn screeched as she exited the room. 

Buffy looked over to Willow and asked, "You understand don't you?"

"I don't know Buffy. Is it that bad? I already met my alternate universe self, the Skanky ho vampire. We all lived through that. You should trust us," Willow added as she left Buffy and Whistler alone in the kitchen.

"That didn't go well, or should I call it, three easy steps on how to alienate your friends and family?" Buffy asked Whistler. He didn't say anything, so she finally requested "Can I keep the book? I don't mean forever just for a few days." 

"I'll be back in three day. Bye for now kid" he said as he exited the house. 

Buffy sat clutching the book. Her own life was such a mess. She wondered if this other Buffy had managed to do any better. 

TBC


	6. I'm Not Available

__

* Thanks for the feedback. I would say it is taking place after Hells Bells. Sorry for any typing or grammar mistakes. You get my stories straight as they come from my head and I type them. It is hard for me to proof my own work. Also, I am a Buffy Spike shipper, so this story is B/S all the way. 

Chapter 6

I'm Not Available 

Buffy stretched out on the sofa with the journal in her hands. She opened it to the next section that Whistler had marked and began to read. 

***

__

I saw him again last night. How he irritates me. So cool, so sure of himself and such an ass. I was out patrolling and had just easily taken out two fledglings when I heard some clapping. I turned to see Spike casually leaning against a headstone. His bleach white hair stood out against the night. My heart was pounding as I moved toward him. I asked "What are you doing out here?"

"Isn't that obvious pet, I'm watching you fight? You have talent, but you drop your right shoulder and you telegraph your kicks. If someone took the time to study your moves they could defeat you," he told her. 

I was stunned. Who did he think he was? Did he think he could do better? "I guess you could do better? I am the Slayer, the chosen one, and the girl with the ability to slay the vampires. I know you're not with the Watchers Council. So who are you and why are you watching me?"

He started laughing at me. "You thought I was a watcher. Do I look all book wormy to you?" he said while continuing to laugh. 

"What's so funny? You are British and seem to know things…. about vampires and evil. You knew who I was," I added. 

He stopped laughing and moved toward me. As he ran the back of his left hand down my right cheek he proclaimed, "Oh Yes, I know all about evil and I know what makes you tick Slayer." He slid around me until my back was against his chest and his right arm was around my waist. He pulled me to him and whispered in my ear, "I know your attracted to me…but your out of your league little girl." He pulled me closer his left hand caressing my hip then sliding up to lightly brush my left breast. I let out a low moan. It seemed to have an effect on him. "Ahhhha….. ssslayer you could almost make a man forget," Spike said as he pushed his pelvis into my backside. I could feel his desire against my bottom. 

It thrilled me but at the same time it scared me. I tried to pull away. "No Spike, we can't I….I can't," I begged him. 

He continued to hold me and nuzzled my neck telling me, "What I could do to you luv. You know your too trusting and it will be your downfall. I'm a bad man Buffy and you let me this close." 

I took a deep breath and said, "Maybe I like bad boys." I pushed my rear harder against his erection. That got a moan from him. 

"You play a dangerous game Slayer. I'm not a boy. You should be with a nice little school boy not a dangerous man like me," he growled. He pushed me away from him. "Find a nice school boy Buffy. I'm not available. I'm only here for business." 

"Business, you're here for business then why were you touching me?" I cried out. 

He stood staring at me. "I'm only here to help you take out some vampires not be your schoolgirl crush. I'll give you information and teach you a thing or two about fighting, but I'm not going to be your lover."

That did it. You could hear the crack through the night as I slapped him across the face. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," I screamed as I ran into the night. 

***

Dawn came bouncing down the stairs to see Buffy sleeping on the sofa with the open journal on her lap. 


	7. That is What Best Friends Are For

Chapter 7

That is What Best Friends Are For

Dawn moved slowly toward her sister. Buffy's hand was obscuring part of one of the pages, but Dawn silently read what seemed to be a hot interlude between Buffy and a mystery man. When Dawn got to the part that let her know that the man was Spike she couldn't help but shriek "Ahhh my." Dawn's untimely shriek brought her sister fully awake. Dawn jumped back and started to protest "I didn't see anything. Besides who wants to see your stupid book anyway. Not me I have better thing to do." 

Buffy slammed the book shut and jumped up to stand in front of her sister. She had no idea how to respond to her sister. She finally said to her, "I guess you read some of it? You know it is another Buffy not me. Dawn I'll tell you what it says, but I want to read it first. Don't you understand?"

"Buffy do you think so little of me that you believe I can't tell the difference between you and some alternate? I'm not stupid." When Buffy gave her a sad embarrassed look, but said nothing, Dawn stomped out of the room and up the stairs. 

Why can't Dawn understand I'm doing the best I can, Buffy thought. She decided she had to talk to her. She made her way up the stairs. There was no response from knocking on her sister's door. "Dawn please let me in." 

After a few moments the door opened and Buffy quietly entered the room. "I have to get ready for school, so what ever you have to say it better be quick," Dawn uttered. 

"What I've read so far are the things that Whistler marked. I haven't gotten that far, however the big difference is that she didn't meet Angel six years ago," Buffy informed her sister. She looked down at her hands and added, "She met Spike though and it seems she was taken with him, but he didn't seem to want her. I don't know why yet but he is helping her."

That peaked Dawn's attention and she asked, "Where was Drucilla?"

"That is my question too. She hasn't made an appearance in the journal yet. I don't know Dawnie. Maybe she doesn't exist there. Before you start asking a lot of questions I don't know the answer to, why don't you let me read more today and when you get home from school we can go over it together," Buffy said giving her sister a hopeful look. 

Dawn smiled and gave her sister a huge hug. "Thank you Buffy."

After Dawn was off to school Buffy sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and started to read more from the journal. 

***

__

I have a date. A real date with a nice boy from school. We are going out tonight. I'm not going out with him because of Spike. Owen is a nice good-looking boy and he likes me. That is more than I can say for the horrid Spike. I'm sure I will have all kinds of wonderful things to write about when I get home. What should I wear? I want to look like I'm interested but not like a big ho. I'll get Willow to help me. That's what best friends are for. 

***

My life is never simple and nothing ever turns out the way I expected. Owen and I ended up at the Bronze having a real nice time than everything just went to hell. First Spike shows up. I'm on the dance floor with Owen and we are dancing close and it is nice to have someone hold you. That was when I noticed him across the room. His eyes bore into me. Anger written upon his face. Why is he angry? He doesn't want me. I'm just business to him, nothing else. Oh my goodness he is coming my way with a very determined look. 

When Spike got to us he gently asked, "May I cut in?" That was not what I was expecting. Nor was I expecting the smile he gave me. 

Finally coming out of my daze I told him, "Spike I'm on a date. I really don't think this is th……." He cut me off with a raised hand and replied, "I'm not here to interrupt your date Sla…. Buffy. It's about work." He turned to Owen. "I'll only keep her a few minutes. You can understand that mate, can't you?"

Owen looked at me, "Didn't know you had a job. What kind of job do you have?" 

"Haven't told the new boy about your job," Spike said with a smirk. 

"Owen let me have a few minutes with Spike here. It won't take long I can assure you," I told my date giving him my most sincere smile. Owen told me he would wait for me at the table. 

As I turned I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me flush against his body. I tried to push him away, but he held me tight and whispered in my ear, "We have business luv. But if you're afraid to dance with me or be this close to me maybe we should conduct our business at your table. I'm sure the new boyfriend wouldn't mind."

"We have no business. We have nothing," I told him.

"I thought your business was being the chosen one. Saving the world and all that rot? Well, let me tell you something baby, while you're here playing with that boy your enemies are rising the Anointed One. I hear he will cause problems for you. Don't you think you should at least be out there trying to stop it? Isn't that what you hero types are suppose to do?" he said as his hands caressed my back. 

I pushed him away from me and said, "I know all about the Anointed One. As a matter of fact, my watcher is on it right now. If he needs me he'll beep. As far as being out on a date, you're the one that told me to find a nice schoolboy, so I did."

He glared at me distaste and anger evident in his facial expressions and his body language. "You are the most annoying, infuriating, stubborn woman I've ever met. I don't know why I bother."

"Why do you bother? Is it some revenge thing for you? Did vampires kill someone you loved? Because I for one do not understand why you are involved" I told him as I started to turn away and exit the dance floor. 

He grabbed my arm and spun me around. Devouring eyes entrapped mine and he declared, "It is my affair why I'm doing it. You should just be glad that I am. Because as long as I do you might get to stay alive. Slayers don't exactly have a long shelf life."

Of all the things he could have said to me that one hit home with such force that tears started to form in my eyes. "You don't think I know that," I said fighting back the tears with all I had. My voice was a little shaky as I continued, "I… I just want to have a date. Something normal. Is that so much to ask?" I looked up at him with pleading tear filled eyes. 

His expression softened as looked at me. His left hand found its way to my shoulder and he lightly squeezed it. "Buffy you will never get to be a normal girl," he told me.

"It's not fair. I just want some of the things a normal girl has," I voiced. 

"Maybe if you get to be as old as me, you'll understand that life isn't fair," he informed me as he guided me to my table and my date. 

Before Spike had a chance to make an exit Xander and Willow came storming in. The next thing I know I'm off to stop the Anointed One and help Giles. Things were still going down hill fast. After I thought I ditched both Spike and Owen, wouldn't you know it they both showed up at the funeral home? Owen was trying to play hero and nearly got himself killed. Spike helped me killed the Anointed One. Or should I say the vampire that I thought was the Anointed One. 

It was strange Giles and Spike talking all Britishy stuff, when I interrupt to say, "At least we don't have to worry about the Anointed One. You can chalk another one up for the good guys. Something good came out of tonight. If I just keep telling myself that, it won't be so bad, because I'll probably never get another date as long as I live." 

Spike interrupted to say, "That wasn't the Anointed One. A decoy more than likely." 

This just made my day, because it meant the Anointed One was still out there. Xander and Willow got Owen home ok and Spike drove me home. It was a silent drive neither of us knowing what to say. He parked the car in front of my house and followed me to my door. 

"You know that boy will end up dead if he keeps dating you? He doesn't know rot about survival. He won't make it in your world " Spike informed me with sincerity in his voice. 

I stopped and turned to see his face and quietly answered "I know that. The others they know the score. But, I doubt I have to worry about him asking me out again." I paused than continued, "Spike I think we should say goodnight now. For most people this night would have been considered a wild out of this world experience, but not for me. It was just another day in the crazy world of the Slayer."

"What if I'm not ready to say goodnight?" he said with a sexy grin that could melt an iceberg. 

"No more business for tonight. I'm going in and take a shower than go to bed." At the mention of a shower and bed his eyes lit up and his breathing increased.

"No business, luv," as his lips found mine. My heart was pounding and I was lost. I don't understand how he can turn me into Jell-O with a simple kiss. I take that back a kiss from him is anything but simple. 

I'm not sure how long it took me to come to my senses enough to remember that this man had told me he wasn't available. I broke the kiss and pushed him away. "You're not available. That is what you told me. You said we would never be lovers."

Spike looked at me hunger burning in his eyes. "I was wrong. I'm a fool to want you, because I know you're trouble. It was only suppose to be business." His hands were now playing havoc with my senses as they moved over my body. "I didn't like you being with that boy. I wanted to pull him away from you and scream, keep your bloody hands off my girl."

"Your girl. You were jealous?" I asked a little reluctantly. 

"I shouldn't, but yes I bloody well was" he said with mischief in his beautiful azure eyes. 

His lips found mine again and the world around me fell away. There was just he and I and the world of sensation I found in his arms, that was until I heard a high-pitched "I'm telling mom your making out with boys on the front porch." 

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on my head. I turned to look at the annoying pain I have the misfortune to call a sister. "Dawn you were spying on me. How dare you. I'm telling mom you're spying. And it wasn't boys it was one boy. So there."

That was when Spike tried to get a word in as Dawn and I tossed insults back and forth. "Ahhh it's man not boy. Let's get that part straight" I heard him say between Dawn's denial of spying and her claiming to have better things to do than see her sister suck face. 

After Dawn stomped off into the house I wanted to die. What would Spike think? She had just messed up the perfect moment. That was when I heard him laugh. He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head than asked me, "How old is she?" I told him nine. He smiled and told me to wait until she was fourteen, it would get worse. He pulled out a card and pen and wrote down his phone number. 

I have the most gorgeous, sexy boyfriend in the world. Than it hit me I don't know his last name. Note to self. Ask boyfriend his name. 

*** 

Buffy was giggling as Willow entered the kitchen. Willow took one look at Buffy and the journal and said, "I'm sorry your busy I'll leave."

"Willow please don't go. Dawn and I had a little talk this morning and when she gets home from school we're going to go over what the journal says together. I was wondering if you would like to join us?" Buffy implored. 

"Really?" Willow hoped. 

"What are best friends for?" Buffy said smiling at her friend. 


	8. Strawberries and Whipped Cream

Chapter 8

Strawberries and Whipped Cream

After Willow left for class Buffy got a cup of coffee and sat down to continue reading about the life of another Buffy. It seemed so weird to know the people and in one case vampire that she was reading about, but yet not know them. There were traces of herself in that Buffy and it was easy to understand how a young naive version of herself could fall for Spike. Even the world-weary older version had to remind herself what he was. When he looks at you with those seductive eyes and smile it almost seems like you can see into his soul, except of course he doesn't have one. His body is cold but his touch ignites a fire in you that only he can quench. These thoughts brought a sad smile to her face. Life was unfair and he remained something she could no longer have. She knew it, but it still hurt, but she would have to savor the short time they had had together, because it couldn't happen again. I must put Spike out of my mind she thought and with that she began to read the next section of the journal. 

***

__

It is our two-month anniversary and Spike is making me a special dinner. I live for the times we can be together. Though he has terrible taste in music, the Sex Pistols ewwww, we do seem to have a great deal in common. There is dancing, especially to the slow songs and those are the best when you have someone like him to hold you. We watch movies and television together while eating popcorn, but most of all he deals with me being a slayer. I can't think of one time where he tried to take over or not let me do my job. When I need backup he is there plus his knowledge of the demon world is remarkable. He can give Giles a run for his money. You should have seen Giles' face when Spike located some old texts that contain slayer prophecies.

My mom and sister both adore him. At first mom was really upset about us dating, because he's older, but he has managed to worm his way into her good graces. She even keeps a bag of those little marshmallows hidden from Dawn and I just so she can have them for his hot chocolate. I caught him telling Dawn one of his ghost stories the other day. He looked all hurt when I called him on it. Dawn loves his stories and he did assure me it was the PG version. It will be nice to have dinner at his apartment tonight with no mom and sister to monopolize my boyfriend's time. 

As far as my friends go, Willow is really happy for me. Giles thinks a slayer should concentrate on slaying blah, blah-blah, blah-blah, but I think he likes Spike anyway. However, Xander is another story. Every chance he gets he is knocking Spike. I wish he could be happy for me. It would be terrible if this ruined our friendship. 

***

"Luv make yourself comfortable…….dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes" Spike called out from the small kitchen area of his apartment. 

I took off my jacket and draped it across the back of the chair and placed a small gift-wrapped box on the coffee table. I wondered over to his desk to try to get a look at what he was working on and glanced down at his manual typewriter and shook my head. "Spike they do have this thing called a computer and it makes writing much easier. I can't believe you use this thing." 

Spike poked his head of the kitchen and answered "A writer uses all kinds of things for inspiration and that typewriter is one of them."

I pouted and said, "I thought I was your inspiration."

Within seconds I was wrapped in his arms and he whispered in my ear, "Always." Next I felt teeth nibbling on my ear and I started to giggle until soft lips met mine in a passionate kiss. All too soon he pulled away mumbling something about dinner and not to go anywhere. 

While he was getting dinner on the table I picked up his latest story and started to read it. Within two minutes I was laughing my ass off. "You better not let Xander see this one" I told him. 

"And why not. He is the one that was shagging that praying mantis woman. It's not my fault he attracts that kind of woman" he answered innocently. 

"Ah… but it's you that has turned it into a scary, but strangely comic version of one boy's tragic experience" I reminded him. 

"Oh ya" he laughed with that devilish grin on his face. 

"Like I said don't let him see this one." I paused a moment and asked, "Spike do you always write your stories from the demon's or bad guy's point of view? You seem to be able to get into their heads. It is pretty amazing." 

"That's what a writer does. Do you really think they are amazing?" he asked as if he could not believe someone would think his work was good.

"It's unbelievable, just like you," I exclaimed while giving him a sultry smile.

"Luv that look should be outlawed. I thought you were here for dinner. Better save those looks for dessert and get that cute little arse of yours over to the table" he commanded. 

Dinner was great. I have to give him credit he is a wonderful cook. However, dessert was the best. It started with big, red, juicy, luscious strawberries dipped in whipped cream. We feed them to each other, but is wasn't long before he'd managed to get whipped cream all over my face. Being a gentleman he offered to clean it off with his tongue. How could a lady turn down such a thoughtful offer? 

It wasn't long before thoughts of strawberries and whipped cream were forgotten and the only thing that mattered was the fire he ignited in me. His kisses became more demanding and I couldn't get close enough to him. I wanted him touching me everywhere. Pulling his lips from mine he growled, "Buffy…… what you do to me……..God help me I want you. I need to be inside of you." 

I cried out one word, "Yes." That was all the encouragement he needed. The next thing I knew he'd swept me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. What followed will be etched in my mind forever. Every look, taste, and touch burned into my soul. I thought this moment would frighten me. Instead warmth and love enveloped me and the joy in his eyes gave me strength to encourage him when he hesitated. We made love twice. The second time not as hurried or desperate but every bit as wonderful. 

Of everything that happened that night I didn't think it could get any better, I was so wrong. Curled up together in his bed with the glow of being thoroughly loved radiating from both of us I felt his fingers gently brush the wisps of hair from my face. Oh so tenderly, he caressed my cheek and I looked into the eyes of the man I loved. It felt like his eyes could read my soul. A smile threatened to cross his lips, but than the words I've dreamed of hearing came from them, " I love you. I love you so much."

***

The journal slipped from Buffy's fingertips. Tears were cascading down her cheeks, as memories of those same words being spoken to her bombarded her mind.

TBC 

* Next chapter will contain angst. I am giving a fair warning. I also want to thank everyone for the feedback. It makes me write faster. 


	9. Another One Joins the Party

Chapter 9 

Another One Joins the Party

The tears continued to stream down her face. Closing the book and leaving it on the island she made her way to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would make her feel better. Tossing her clothes on the floor she entered the shower trying to put thoughts of her ex-lover out of her mind. The warm jets of water soothed her muscles but not the ache in her soul. 

Spike came bursting through the kitchen door, smoke rising from the blanket that protected his cool dead body. "Slayer,…. Buffy you here?" the vampire called as he move through the lower part of the house. He could hear someone in the shower. It was probably Buffy. Thoughts of her naked wet body under a spray of water made him instantly hard. His brain was on overload and he started to ascend the stairs. They had never made love in a shower. It was than that he remembered that they might never make love again. In her mind it was over. Fear gripped his heart and he reconsidered entering the bathroom. He would demonstrate to her that he could exhibit some restraint. Taking a deep breath and willing his body to listen to his head he made his way back down the stairs to the kitchen. 

What to do while I waited for her, he thought. Maybe she has some of those little pretzels I like. He didn't find any pretzels, but he found some cheesy crackers and a container of pig's blood in the fridge. Sitting down at the island with his nuked blood and box of crackers he noticed the book. "Now what do we have here?" he said out loud. It took only a sparse moment for him to comprehend what he had in his hands. "It's Buffy's diary" he mumbled to himself. 

Dropping the book like it was holy water, the vampire continued to stare at it. She would stake me if I sneaked a peek. But I'm an evil vampire, I do evil things, after all if she didn't want anyone to see it she shouldn't have left it sitting around where I can find it, he thought as he picked up the book and started reading. 

With a towel wrapped around her body, Buffy dashed to her bedroom to change. She had been in the bathroom for almost an hour. She wasn't sure if she was up to any more reading, but she had promised Willow and Dawn she would give them a rundown. As she entered the kitchen she thought she entered the twilight zone. Spike was in her kitchen and reading the journal. 

"What are you doing and here?" she demanded. 

"Came for a visit. And you should be grateful. If you think you can pass this off as the truth you are sorely mistaken" he said while waving the journal in the air. "I do have a reputation to keep. Those stuffy watchers will think you have flipped, unless that is what you're going for. After all Giles keeps diaries too and they won't match. If you're pulling a scam on those watchers I'm in with you, but it might be tricky to pull off. Except the part about me being the hottest and best …"

He was cut off by Buffy's scream.

"Spike shut up" she yelled. "It is not you…..you stupid vampire."

"Ah ha, I guess this isn't about me. 'My name is Spike. And to answer your other question, yes I know what vampires are. And Buffy… thank you for the dance'" Spike read from the journal. "How many Spike's you know luv?"

"It is someone else. I swear, it's not you" she told him while looking him straight in the eye. 

He believed her. His heart sunk as the realization that she might have done those things with someone else struck him. Pain washed across his face. "Let me get my blanket and I'll be out of your way" he said grabbing his blanket and racing for the door.

"Spike wait. It's not you because it's not me. This is not my journal" she spoke into the back of the fleeing vampire. 

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her. "I'm not getting you luv."

"This journal came from Whistler. It belongs to a Buffy from another dimension. He thought I should read it. Said it might help me make some decisions" she told him sincerity in her voice.

Spike gave her his patient smirk and made his way back to one of the kitchen chairs. "So lets get this straight this other bird is shagging my double."

"That appears to be the case," she said grudgingly. 

"You weren't going to tell me about this. Why am I not surprised? I'm always out of the bloody loop," he said shaking his head and refusing to make eye contact with her. 

"I just got it last night. This is getting so out of hand. First Willow and Dawn, and now you," she said sarcastically. As she plopped down on a chair beside Spike she added, "It is strange. Reading about people you know but they're not. Also, the whole you and I thing redone differently. I'm just a little freaked." Her eyes met his and she asked "Aren't you at least a little surprised?"

"Well the guy is a bastard I'll give him that. Back than I was too, so I can see that. Wanting to shag you even back than……..that part is true. Wanted you the minute I saw you. Now that freaked me out, that is why I…"

"What did you say?" she demanded cutting him off.

"You were hot and a little fire cracker…..those little short dresses ….."

"Not that… the part. The part about him being a bastard" she inquired. 

"Well yeah, pulling that scam. Right brilliant if you ask me. He was more patient than I was. Back than I never could have stayed away from Dru that long. How times have changed." He paused when he realized her expression had gone sour. "You do realize that that bastard isn't me?" 

TBC


	10. Betrayal

Chapter 10

Betrayal 

Buffy didn't answer Spike. Her inter turmoil was evident on her face. It was than that Spike thought you stupid git she hasn't read that part. "Buffy how far did you get?" He picked up the book and showed her where he had stopped when she interrupted him.

Looking at it she said "Not quite as far as you."

"Well I guess you got some reading to do. Luv can I read with you? I'm a might curious as to what happens to them."

"Spike I don't think…." but he cut her off. "Look the way I see it… that Whistler fellow told you, you could learn from reading it. Maybe I can too. You're going to share with the Scoobies and you know Dawn will tell me everything anyway" he gave her a hopeful look. 

"I know I'm going to regret this, but fine." Buffy opened the journal and continued to read.

__

***

I haven't written anything for three weeks. It has taken me that long to piece everything together. I was too hurt to care for awhile, but now it's time to put what I know down on paper. The gang has been a big help, especially Willow. Without her shoulder to cry on, I'm not sure I could have gotten through this. I take that back, I'm not entirely sure I have gotten through it, but I'm working on it. Some of this information is from the gang. I just thank God I'm not alone.

It was a normal day, at least for the slayer. Giles had sent me to check out some vampire activity in an underground area near the old mall. I hate being in the tunnels. There are rats and the smells are something that no human should be expected to endure. Things were still pretty dicey with the Master on the loose. However, having Spike help was making a real difference. There was defiantly some boy bonding between him and my watcher. Giles had even lent him some of his precious books. If you know Giles then you know that's a big deal. The only one that hasn't excepted Spike is Xander. Voices up ahead brought me back to the present. Slowly and stealthily I made my way through the tunnels hoping to sneak up on whoever it was. What I found was the last thing I expected. 

There in the torchlight were two figures, one was a vampire I had never seen before. He was in a heated argument with his companion. A vampire in the underground tunnels is no big deal, but who the companion was turned out to be a big deal. Coldness swept up my body freezing me in place. Shock is too mild of a term to express what was going on in my head. I can barely write this even now without tears threatening to fall from my eyes, because the person with the vampire was Spike.

At first I thought it was some kind of trick. He was there to get information about the Master so he could pass it on to us. However, after listening to their argument for a few minutes it was apparent that that was not the case. 

Spike slammed the vampire up against the wall. Spike's strong hand pressing into the vampire's throat. "What do you mean she got away? You have one bloody job you git, keeping her safe and you can't even manage that" he yelled with disgust. 

The vampire tried to speak, but his airway being choked made it impossible. Spike loosed his hold on the vampire just enough so he could speak. "She is fine. We got her back. You don't understand Drusilla went crazy sheee…….." he was cut off again as Spike squeezed harder.

"Don't talk that way about my Dru you moron. You're not worthy to kiss her feet" Spike roared at the vampire. "Did anyone see her? If they did we're bollixed " Spike fumed while completely releasing his hold on the vampire.

"No, I swear. No one" the vampire responded. After a moment the vampire continued. "She started to rant that you were no longer hers. She tricked Linda and got away. We found her in a toy store smashing all the blond haired dolls. If you could come and see her it might help. It's been months and she thinks you have abandoned her."

With rage in his voice Spike screamed, "Bloody hell I'm doing this all for her. Dru is everything to me. Do you think I like this dangerous game? I'm the one on the line here, but it's worth the risk if it means she gets well. Chain her up if you have to, I'll make it up to her later."

"Whatever you say Spike. Also, there is some good news. Those books you gave us turned out to be the answer. We are almost done with the translation. You'll have it by tomorrow" he said glad that he was able to pass on some good news. 

"Yeah, that is more like it. Once she is well, we're getting out of this hellhole of a town" Spike glowered. 

"I hate to bring this up, but what about the Master and the Slayer? Are you going to kill them as we planned?" the vampire asked Spike.

"The slayer is going to take care of the Master for me and than I'll take care of her. Don't worry about………Did you hear something? " he stopped to ask his companion. 

That was all I needed to hear. It was all some sick game. He was using me to kill the Master than he was going to kill me. I raced through the tunnels as if my soul was on fire. I needed to get to Giles and tell him everything. 

There was some semblance of relief as I entered the library. Tired and out of breath I went about locating Giles. He was in his office talking to Ms. Calendar. "Giles there has to be a mistake. Buffy can't die. There must be a way to stop it" she demanded franticly. 

"You think I want this. I have gone over everything and it all ends up the same way. She faces the Master and she dies."

"So I'm going to die. The powers must be laughing their heads off. At least Spike won't get the privilege of killing me and I won't help him kill the Master. I guess that will have to be my reward" she told the adults before her. 

"Oh God Buffy, I didn't want you to hear……I was going to tell you. I'm sorry we will think of something" Giles pleaded looking into the lost eyes of his slayer. 

"Spike wants me dead" I managed to say before I completely broke down in tears. As Giles held my trembling body I told him everything I had seen and heard. We still weren't sure what Spike was. He was strong, but he couldn't be a vampire, because he didn't get all dusty in sunlight. Giles thought he had heard of a vampire named Drusilla, but he believed she had died a few years before. 

***

Buffy looked up from the journal remarking "Spike isn't a vampire, so what is he?"

"He's a vampire luv. Didn't you recognize the ring?" Spike asked her.

"What ring?" she asked truly confused by what he was saying. 

"Did you only read the pages that are marked?" she shook her head yes to his question. "Well luv, I read the rest too. Figured the good stuff wouldn't be marked. Anyway she makes a comment about his sparklies. That is what she calls his jewelry. She actually makes fun of it. Do you like my jewelry luv?" Buffy gave him the *I can't believe you asked that look,* so he continued to tell her about the ring. "He has a ring you should remember called the Gem of Amara."

Buffy's expression was one of hatred. "How?"

"Not sure but I will tell you he is a smarter man than me. First he doesn't have that bint Harmony to muck up things and second he doesn't rush out to show off his sparklies to the slayer" he says shaking his head. He sees Buffy giving him a dirty look. "What it's true. I'd still have my gem if I weren't such a wanker." She rolled her eyes at his comment and went back to reading. 

***

__

After telling Giles I needed some time to spend with my mother, I left him and Ms Calendar in the library. "Hello luv" Spike called from the shadows as I approached my front door. "A little jumpy tonight" he said as he advanced on me.

Backing away from him I tried to form a coherent sentence, but it came out something like "Ahhh…not with….the house….I'm lost."

"Come again luv" he said as he moved to take me in his arms. I shoved him away with all my might causing him to land on his ass. By this time I couldn't keep the tears at bay and they fell freely down my ashen cheeks. 

This man or whatever he is belongs on the stage, because if I didn't know better I could have sworn that I saw concern in his blue eyes. Getting up off the ground he tried to talk to me, comfort me, but I blocked out his lies. Finally, I screamed telling him to stay away from me. "You don't have to worry about killing me. The Master is going to get that privilege tomorrow night. It's prophesied. But I guess that messes up your plans, so you'll have to kill the Master yourself" I cried my voice awash with fear, hate, and sorrow. 

"The tunnels, that was you I heard. Buffy what did you hear? It's not…" but he was interrupted by Buffy cries "Stop lying. If you're here to kill me than lets go, if not I want to spend my last night with my mother. Maybe you'll get lucky and I'll take the Master with me when I die." 

"Buffy that is not…" I punched him in the face sending him flying against a tree. 

"Stay away from me" I called as I left him on the ground and entered my home. 

***

What happened the next day is just plain crazy at best. From Willows account Giles asked Xander and her to meet him in the library. When they got there he was with Ms Calendar. He explained to them what was in the prophecy and my friends, Giles, Willow, and Xander decided to go after the Master and terminate the prophecy. They are the bravest people I've ever known, but it wasn't their fight and in the end it had to be me. 

They entered the underground area the Master uses as his lair. Xander told me it took them about a half an hour to get to where the action was taking place. What they found first was Spike, Drusilla, and the Master in some kind of ritual. The Master was tied to an altar his hands and feet bond with his mouth taped shut. There was incense burning and Spike was chanting "Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of War, poisoners, pariahs, grand obscenity. Bring your black medicine. Restore your murderous child." With that he pulls out a dagger and continues his chant "From the blood of the great grand sire she is risen." He stabs the dagger through both Drusilla's and the Master's interlocked hands. Jolts of energy were passing from the Master to Drusilla. 

It was about this time that all hell was breaking loose. They could hear fighting from one of the other passages. Giles told Xander and Willow to stay put. He was going to check it. He didn't get very far as the fighters entered the main cavern. What shocked them the most was it was one group of vampires fighting another group. It was total pandemonium. The ritual was interrupted as Drusilla was pulled away from the Master and Spike found himself in combat with several of the Master's followers. 

While my friends were witnessing this fight I made my way to the library to say goodbye to them. However, the only person there was Ms Calendar. After a little prodding she told me what they were up to. I was furious how could they be so stupid. If I didn't stand a chance against the Master, how were they going to defeat him? I raced as fast as I could to the underground caverns. 

It wasn't very long before Giles, Willow, and Xander were spotted by some of the vamps and pulled into the fray. The weakened Master was soon released by one of his follows. Giles slowly guided himself and his charges to one of the passageways dusting vamps as they went. "We need to get out of here. Just follow me. We'll dust them as we go" Giles yelled to Xander and Willow. 

The fighting abruptly stopped as a voice called out; "I'll stake her." Giles stopped to see what was happening but signaled both Xander and Willow to continue their exit out of the caverns. Only about half the number of the vampires were still undead the rest were forgotten dust littering the stone floors. A blond female vampire held the vampire Giles assumed was Drusilla by the throat and pressed a stake to her chest. 

"Darla let her go. We don't have a beef with you pet" Spike called to the blond.

"Now why would I do that. I may not wish to stake Drusilla, but it might be worth it to see the look on your face" she answered.

"I'll make a deal with you pet. Let her go and you can have me. You always wanted to take me on. Just you and me and we can see who has the biggest wrinkles. You keep the stake and I'll fight with no weapons. When are you going to get a better deal than that?"

"Always the honor with you William. You know I fight dirty," she said as she tossed Dru to the ground. 

The Master laughed as he watched his children eyeing each other up for the fight. "Darla don't kill him too fast I want the pleasure of seeing him suffer before he dies." 

Giles watched with fascination as the vampires began to fight. He also noticed that several of Spike's lackeys had maneuvered themselves into position for a quick getaway. Neither vampire seemed to have the upper hand. Even without a weapon Spike was an even match for the vampire he called Darla. Everything happened so fast that Giles didn't even have time to gasp. Darla plunged a stake into Spike's chest, but it didn't even phase him. The hesitation and shock was all Spike needed to get the upper hand. In the wink of an eye, he had Drusilla in his arms and was exiting out one of the passageways with several of his vampire cohorts following. 

"After them. I want Spike dead" the Master raged at his minions. The minions regrouped and pursued the fleeing Spike. Only several vampires stayed to assist the Master. Giles decided it was time for him to exit and he retreated into the tunnel. 

***

On my way to the Master's lair I came across the Anointed One. What kind of evil would turn a child? The kind I was getting ready to face I told myself. I followed him into the depths of hell. I pray to God if there is one, that my friends are ok and to at least let me die taking that devil with me. 

He wasn't hard to find. I dusted the two vampires with him without breaking a nail, but I wouldn't be as lucky with him. He used that damn thrall thing, than bit me and tossed me in a pool of water to drown. That would have been the end of the story but I was saved. Xander and Willow had to fill me in on this part. 

***

Giles had made it back to the library but there was no sign of Willow or Xander. Ms Calendar told him I was at the Master's lair. You see Xander and Willow had gotten lost in the tunnels. That turned out to be a plus for me. 

"Xander I don't think this is the way out?" Willow chided him. As they rounded a bend they came face to face with Spike. He was alone and in a hurry.

"Stay away from us you devil" Xander shouted while raising a stake and at the same time pushing Willow behind him. 

"Buffy is in there. I'm going after her. So if you children will kindly get out of my way. I'm not in the mood to fight you" Spike rebutted. 

Willow was shocked and pushed her way around Xander to take on Spike. "If you think we are letting you go after her so you can kill her….. you have to go through us first" the redhead rebuked.

Spike was loosing patience and as calmly as he could he answered the angry redhead. "I'm trying to save her. I know she is in trouble. I can feel it. If you don't trust me than come with me." 

"We don't trust you and we are coming" Willow told him. 

I'm not sure how long I had been in the water when they found me. Xander did CPR and brought me back. I was dead really dead. That's not something that happens to you every day. Being back was good news. However, the bad news was, the Master was opening the hellmouth. My death made it possible for him to open it. There was no time to think about Spike standing beside Willow and Xander or about how it felt to be back from the great beyond. I had a job to finish and I knew where to go. By the time we got to the library the place was crawling with vampires and the mouth had started to open. The rest of the gang stayed to fight the demon that was ascending from the depths of hell. I went to the roof to fight the demon that had started this whole mess in the first place.

When it was over I was standing and he was bones. The hellmouth closed and my friends went to a dance. That is our lives, save the world and turn around and do a normal teenage thing like dance. I told them that I would meet them there. There was still some unfinished business Spike and I had to take care of. 

"I'm leaving tonight. Taking Dru and headed anywhere but here" he told me with just a trace of regret in his voice.

"So you're not going to kill me. Wasn't that the plan?" I asked pain evident in my speech. 

"Plans change. I got what I came for. The Master's dead…. Dru is better. Killing you would have just been a bonus," he said.

The heartbreak and pain of his words must have been apparent on my face, because the next thing he said was; "Being with you was never part of the plan. Falling in love with you was wrong. I know it, but I did it anyway. I'm evil Buffy…..and I'm a killer, but I'm not going to kill today. I'm going to leave your town." He reached up to touch me, but I pulled away. 

He turned to leave, but I called out after him "Do you love her?"

Without turning back to look at me he answered, "Yes in my own way. It's not the way I love you. She's like me. I forgot that for a little while."

"She's a vampire. What do you mean she's like you?" I asked really not knowing how he would answer.

This time he did turn to look at me, "I thought you knew. I'm a vampire."

"No, that can't be. I've seen you in sunlight. No, no, you're lying" I spouted. That was the first and only time I saw his true face, the face of the demon that resided in his body. My bottom lip trembled as I gazed at the creature before me. "How?" tumbled from my quivering lips. 

He slipped effortlessly back into his human mask and held up his right hand to show me the ring on his finger. "One of the sparklies you always tease me about. It's magic. Found it right here at the hell mouth. It gives a vampire special powers. I guess I'll be going luv. One last thing, that problem with the Anointed One, you don't have to worry I took care of it."

I called out to him, "If you come back here I will stake you….after I pull that damn ring off your finger."

I heard him reply "I know" as he disappeared into the night. 

***

Giles filled me in on the ritual Spike performed on Drusilla and the Master. He figured it was a spell to restore a vampire's strength. Spike was a ruthless vampire that had terrorized Europe with this crazy bitch Drusilla. It was assumed she was dead after a run-in with an angry mob in Prague. Giles was very upset about the ring. He called it the Gem of Amara and thought it made Spike the most powerful vampire alive. His words on the topic were "We're lucky to be alive. He could have easily killed us all."

Yeah I'm real lucky. I still cry when I'm alone and he haunts my dreams. I wake from dreams of his soft lips on mine and his hard sculptured body pressed against mine in desire. This doesn't make sense. Why didn't he kill me? Giles says he has killed two slayers. I would have made three. He could have been a legend in the demon world. There are so many unanswered questions. A part of me wants to see him again, so I can ask them, but another part hopes I never see him again for if I do I'll have to stake him. 

***

Buffy closed the journal and said "She still loves and wants him." Spike wrapped his arms around the emotionally fragile woman he loved and she let him hold her. 

TBC

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	11. The Prodigal Son Returns

_I want to thank everyone for the wonderful feedback. This part of the story starts at the beginning of season 2. _

Chapter 11

The Prodigal Son Returns

Buffy curled up on Spike's lap and let him hold her. He held her close wishing he could take away her pain. When had her pain become his pain? Sometimes he thought it started years ago when he was in that damn wheelchair and that wanker Angelus was torturing and killing Buffy little by little. He admired her spirit even than. The way she kept standing no matter what that poofter throw at her is what caused him to respect her enough to offer her an alliance. Little did he know back then that one day he would love her with such abandonment that he would contemplate giving up everything he was to be by her side. 

The quiet moment between them was interrupted as the voices of a returning Willow and Dawn were heard coming from the main entrance of the house. "Buffy we're home and we brought pizza. We even got the all vegetable kind you like" Dawn called out as she entered the house. 

Buffy quickly scooted off Spike's lap, but gave his hand a little squeeze as she called out to her sister, "Dawnie we're in the kitchen."

Dawn followed by a smiling Willow entered the kitchen and caught sight of the vampire making himself at home with a mug of blood. "Spike, what are you doing here and at this time of day?" Dawn asked with sarcasm in her voice. 

"Nice to see you too Bit" he responded a little hurt by her question.

Willow jumped in to reply to the vampire "I don't think she meant anything by it Spike. You should know that Dawn and I both consider you a friend. Your always welcome, it is just that ……we have plans with Buffy this afternoon, girl stuff."

"Willow you don't have to speak for me. Spike knows how much I like having him around" Dawn interrupted Willow giving Spike a big smile. "However, Spike, Willow is right we do have a girls thing planned" she told him hoping we would leave so they could get down to the business of finding out what was in the journal. 

With both Willow and Dawn giving him those, please do it for us looks, he finally said, "I guess I'll be on my way. A bloke knows when he's not wanted." 

Smiles spread across Willow and Dawn's faces, but Buffy wanted him to stay and surprised everyone when she called out, "You can stay….that is if you want to."

She turned to her sister and friend, "I know it was just going to be us, but he found the book and I had to tell him it wasn't mine."

"Thought at first she had gone around the bend when I started to read it" Spike informed the group.

"You let him read it?" Dawn demanded giving her sister that spoiled brat look she had perfected over the last year.

"No she didn't Bit. I was in the neighborhood and stopped by to see how things were going. Big sis was in the shower. I couldn't go barging in, so I made myself at home. That was when I found the book and took it upon myself to read it. So you see, it's all my doing" Spike said to the teenager. 

Willow looked at the lovesick vampire and than back at Buffy. There was something that had been nagging her about the two of them. Sometimes when Buffy looked at Spike, Willow thought she could see longing in her friends eyes. Of course Spike always looked at Buffy like a lovesick schoolboy. It was strange, but of all her friends this vampire was the one she could feel the most empathy for. After all she knew what it was like to not fit in and how much it hurt when someone you loved never looked at you that way. Most of the time she thought she was over the insecurities that plagued her during high school, but to be honest they were always there just beneath the surface. 

"Buffy if Spike stays do we still get a rundown on what's in the slayer journal?" Dawn asked hopefully.

"I don't see why not" she told them.

A smiling Spike headed for the pizza, "What kind did you get pet? I hope you remembered to tell them no garlic?" a happy Spike said as he started to go through the boxes. "How can you eat this vegetable pizza luv?" he questioned with a look of disgust on his face. Buffy rolled her eyes while Dawn and Willow giggled. 

The group ate pizza while Buffy gave them the basics of what she had read in the journal. Several times Spike interrupted to correct what he thought was an important oversight on her part. The girls listened intently to Buffy's depiction of the story. 

"Wow" was all Dawn said once Buffy had finished. 

"Ditto on the wow from me too" Willow added.

After a moment Dawn looked at Spike and demanded, "How could you leave her for that ho Dru? I thought you loved her?"

Spike didn't know how to answer Dawn. The question made him uneasy. Luckily for him Buffy interrupted "Dawn that wasn't Spike. You can't blame him for what that Spike did."

"Yes I can. Didn't Whistler say that the worlds were the same except for his interference? He got Angel to come here and at the same time prevented Spike and Dru from coming to Sunnydale" the younger girl stated with determination. 

"Dawn I think you need to understand it is more complicated then that" Willow said trying to calm her. 

Spike stared at Buffy his eyes exhibiting his anguish "You mean if Whistler wouldn't have interfered, you would love me?" The look on his face was enough to break anyone's heart and Dawn felt instantly guilty for her behavior. 

"No Bit you're right I'm just like that bastard that left her" he replied as he made his way out into the night. 

Buffy ran into the dark after him. She wasn't sure what she would say to him, but she knew he needed her. That damn journal, she couldn't wait to get her hands on Whistler. 

She found him lighting up a cigarette and leaning against a tree in her back yard. "Go back to your friends Buffy. I'm sure they are wondering what you are doing out here with me" he told her as he stared off into the night. 

"I don't want to that is unless you come with me" she told him.

"Yeah go back in and see what a wanker I am. I never want to hurt you again," he said softly. Walking away from her he continued "I don't think I want to know what happens. It hurts too much."

To his retreating back she pleaded, "You think it doesn't hurt me. This thing between us is killing me. I thought if I walked away it would stop, but it hasn't. I still want and need you, but I'm afraid to love you. Spike please tell me why it has to be so hard?" 

She was crying. That was the one thing that Spike couldn't take. With reticence he gathered her into his arms. "Spike maybe we need to know what's in that journal. If Whistler is right it may help. I know I don't have the right to ask, but please stay. For some reason having you there is a comfort to me" she told him with a tentative voice. 

Spike took an unneeded breath and sighed, "Sure luv. Lets go read more of the adventures of Buffy and Spike the alternative version. 

After the gang regrouped in the living room to continue, it was decided they would take turns reading out loud. Willow got to read first.

***

__

I knew something was wrong when I had been home for three days and Giles told me he thought it was a good idea for me to spend some time with my mother. We could get back to our training some time next week. This was not the Giles I knew. I had just spent two months with my dad in LA and now that I'm home he's blowing off my training. 

The next night after killing a rather nasty demon I decided a trip to Giles was in order. The thing had almost taken me out. I defiantly needed to get back to my training. When I got to his condo I could hear music playing, but he didn't answer the door, so I decided to go in. Giles had given me carte blanche to his home. What I found sent me into a tailspin. 

There was rock music blasting from Giles' bedroom and I was getting worried when he didn't answer me. "Giles are you ok" I called out as I peaked into the room. To my amazement the person I found in Giles' bed wasn't him but the last person I expected to see. Rage boiled in me and in two seconds flat I had my stake out and was on top of Spike screaming "What have you done with Giles?" 


	12. The Terror in Your Eyes

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If you are a Drusilla or Darla fan you may not like this chapter. There are also some references to torture. 

Chapter 12

The Terror in Your Eyes

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"Buffy no" yelled Giles from the doorway of his bedroom. 

The sound of Giles' voice snapped me out of my daze and I pivoted my head to see him standing in the doorway, terror and fear written across his anxious face. It was only than that I really looked down at the vampire beneath me. What I saw made me shudder. Dropping my stake I slowly removed my weight from him not wanting to injure him any more than I already had. By throwing herself on him I must have hurt him internally because a stream of blood was oozing from his open mouth. Silent tears fell from the eyes of his bruised and battered face, while his quivering lips appeared to be trying to form words that were never made audible. When he was unable to communicate he painfully turned his head in shame and self-disgust. 

I pressed my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming out loud. My body was shaking so bad I was surprised I was able to keep standing. Giles raced over to Spike to make sure he was ok. What was I thinking of course he wasn't ok. Someone or something had hurt him and I had just made it worse. I'm not sure how many times Giles called my name before I heard him. He told me to wait downstairs. I didn't want to leave, but he insisted. On unsteady legs I made my way to the living room. 

How many times I dreamed that I would get the chance to see him again. There were so many things I wanted to say and so many things I wanted to ask. However at this moment all that went through my addled brain was that he is hurt and what if he doesn't make it. What if I never get to sit and talk with him again? What is taking Giles so long? Looking back I didn't even cry. I may have been in shock, because I sat on the edge of the sofa rocking back and forth staring at an open book on the coffee table. 

I could have waited for fifteen minutes or hours for Giles to return. I'm not sure. I only know that when he came down the stairs I hurried to him crying out "What happened to him? Is he going to be ok? Please tell me he is going to be fine?" I needed to hear it even if it was a lie.

Giles removed his glasses and nervously began to clean them and motioned for me to sit. Wordlessly I followed his instructions. It seemed like an eternity before he began to speak and when he did his words were not reassuring "He was badly injured, but I believe with time he will make a full physical recovery. That is the good news. The bad news is I'm not so sure about his emotional recovery."

"Who, Who did this to him?" I demanded vengeance racing through my vains.

"Buffy it is his story to tell and I don't think he is ready for you to hear it. I'm not sure he told me everything. Nevertheless, there are some things you must know. First, that he was tortured and left for dead by a group of vampires. This torture lasted 22 days and they did a great deal of physical and emotional damage to him. I've had him under my care for 6 days. No one knows he's here but you and I. He didn't want you to know" Giles told me apologetically.

"How could this happen? He had the Gem of Amara. It was suppose to protect him" I begged for answers. "I need answers and I'm not letting this go until I get them" I looked at him sternly. 

"Buffy if I tell you, you must promise not to say anything about it to him. Let him tell you in his own way when he's ready" Giles urged me. I wordlessly shook my head and he continued. "When he used The Master to restore Drusilla he made enemies of a group of the Master's followers. The most dangerous one is a vampire named Darla. However, the threat she and her group posed was not as deadly as the one from within his own ranks. You see Drusilla decided that he must be punished for his betrayal."

Knowing immediately what betrayal she referred too I howled "Oh God, I was the betrayal wasn't I? Tell me. Did this happened because of me." Now I really was crying. 

Giles put his arm around me and when he thought I was ready he proceeded. "She tricked him by letting him believe everything was fine. She set him up with the help of Darla. While they were on what he thought was a simple boat ride they initiated their plan and turned it into his worst nightmare. First Drusilla pulled the ring from his finger and tossed it overboard leaving him defenseless against Darla and her minions. He thinks they would have continued the torture, but Drusilla had a vision that was more important than her revenge, so after weeks of torture they tied him up and left him in the desert to die. He would have died, but one of the minions slipped a small sharp piece of metal to him. He used it to cut himself free. It is hard to believe but he had enough determination to walk and sometimes crawl miles to an abandoned gas station. There was a pay phone and he called me for help." Giles seemed physically exhausted. I knew the whole ordeal had him disturbed. 

"Giles can I see him?" I asked. I didn't want to hear anymore. I only wanted to hold and comfort him. 

"Buffy try not to get upset if he doesn't want to see you. He has a great deal of pride and it has taken a terrible beating" Giles said giving me that I'm older and wiser than you look. 

I headed up the stairs to try to comfort the man I loved. I know some people may think I'm a hypocrite, but part of me knows that there is some good in him, because I can feel in my soul. 

TBC


	13. He Wasn't Worth It

Chapter 13

He Wasn't Worth It 

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I reached out to touch him and he jerked away from me. He kept his back to me, so I couldn't see his face. My heart was breaking, but I didn't want to push him, so I elected to move a chair close to the bed and sit near him. Pushing away the tears that threatened to come I thanked the powers for saving him and bringing him here. It must have been an hour before he acknowledged my presence. "Are you going to sit there all night?" he asked quietly. 

"If I have to" I told him stubbornly. 

He waited a few minutes than rolled over to look at me. "What did the watcher tell you?" he asked. 

"Not much. I think I got the edited short version. Would you like to talk about it?" I asked sadness evident in my tone. 

"No" he replied curtly.

I could tell he didn't like me seeing him this way. The emotional pain was obvious in his azure eyes. Giles was right the physical damage would heal. It was the emotional pain that would take time. Please let me be able to help him is what went through my mind. This time when I reached out to touch his face he didn't pull away, but let me run my fingers across his chiseled cheeks. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and brought my palm to his lips. He didn't stop there and soon I was curled up with him in the bed. We silently held each other the rest of the night. 

***

Within two days Spike was up and about, but still looked like hell. It was at this time Giles convinced him to let the rest of the Scoobies knew he was there. We would need their help if what Spike had been telling us was true. Giles thought that Spike was being paranoid, however it was better to be safe than sorry. Besides we were getting tired of lying about his presence. A meeting was set for the next evening. It would include Xander, Willow, Cordelia, and Ms Calendar if she was back. She had been gone all summer and I know Giles missed her. 

***

To say that everyone was surprised to find the vampire living with Giles would be an under statement. Xander wanted to stake him on sight. I can't repeat the language that was used by both Xander and Spike. Giles was the voice of reason and got them to stop fighting long enough to get the meeting underway. 

"Spike seems to believe that Darla and Drusilla will be coming here to get revenge on Buffy" Giles told the group seated around the living room. 

"Like that will happen she could take both of them without even breaking a sweat" Xander jumped in to tell the group. 

"Soddin hell whelp, Darla and Drusilla are deadly and they'll not be coming alone" Spike snapped. A knock at the door interrupted Xander's reply. 

Giles opened the door to find Jenny smiling at him. "Hi Rupert" she said a large smile on her face. 

"Jenny I'm so glad you're here. Come in. I wasn't sure you were coming we started without you" he told her.

Her smile faded when she saw Spike. "Rupert, Spike is back?" she questioned the watcher. 

"Yes, it's a long story. He has information that might be of use" he replied.

Spike snorted at the watcher's comment and retorted "Might be of use, stop being a git. I know them and when they get here it won't be pretty. I've seen what that lot can do, especially that poofter Angelus." 

"They are all vampires and we can fight vampires" Willow chimed in.

"Right and maybe this Angelus will refuse to help them. Giles said he hasn't hunted humans for over a hundred years" Buffy added.

" I think you're all missing the point. Dru said she knew how to get her daddy back. That means one thing, she knows how to get rid of his soul. You're going to be dealing with Angelus the Scrounge of Europe" Spike said firmly. 

"Again not seeing a big problem there. He's just another vampire and we stake vampires" Xander said emphasizing the staking vampire part to Spike. 

"Spike I'm sorry but, I have to agree with Xander and Buffy, we should be able to defeat them if we have a plan. We can start by……" but he was cut off by Jenny. 

"He's right. You will be facing Angelus. If he has a moment of happiness he loses his soul" Jenny told the stunned scoobies. 

I walked up to her "And you know this how?"

"The curse was put on Angelus by my people. I don't know all the specifics, but I was told that if he finds a moment of happiness he loses his soul. If Drusilla knows how to remove his soul then you're all in danger. My clan has been watching Angel for over a hundred years. However, we lost track of him about a year ago. That's why I was sent to Sunnydale. It was a long shot, but Darla had been his consort, so the elders thought someone should watch her. I tracked Drusilla and her to Chicago. I'm pretty sure they found Angelus. I lost them about a week ago. When I got your message I hurried back" she explained to the stupefied group. 

The first thing that went through my head was 'Wow she's been tracking them' then it hit me. I steadied myself to confront her. "How long have you been tracking them?" 

She didn't answer right away, but at least had the dignity to look embarrassed, because she knew where my question was leading. "Since they left Sunnydale" she told me with only a hint of remorse. 

I'm not sure how long it took everyone else to understand what that meant. I knew when Willow got it because of her sudden "Oh."

Sometimes I wonder about Xander, because the next thing out of his mouth was "That's a good thing. Right!" After Xander's comment Spike slipped out the back door. 

Willow scolded him "No Xander it's not. What it means is she knew what was happening to Spike and didn't let Buffy know." 

"Buffy, I didn't think……. He's a vampire. I'm sorry if I didn't think that he was worth it" Jenny asserted.

"It wasn't your decision to make Jenny. It was Buffy's. Also, you should have told us why you were here in Sunnydale" Giles informed her. 

"I'm here to help now" she pleaded with them.

"Are you, or are you here because Angelus is probably on his way here to kill me and my friends? After all, finding and watching him is your soul purpose in life, isn't it?" I retorted angrily. 

Before more angry words could be exchanged Giles asked Jenny to leave. I was hurt when he told her he would call her later. After she left I went to find Spike amiss the objections of both Xander and Cordelia. 

He wasn't hard to find. His blond hair stood out against the night as he leaned against a tree in the back yard. I moved to join him in the cool darkness of the night. "What Xander said, don't take it too hard. He doesn't know what Darla and Drusilla did to you," I said softly. 

"And I suppose you do?" he replied.

"No, not everything. I do know that they hurt you and left you to die" was my response. 

"I keep forgetting how young you are. Here's a lesson Luv, there are worse things then being tortured and dying. I wanted to stay out in the desert and greet the sun. You know why I didn't?" he asked me. I shook my head and he proceeded to explain "Because I knew it was only a matter of time before they came after you. If they hadn't threatened you I would be a big pile of dust. The little teacher in there was right. I wasn't worth it. One hundred years with Dru and she doesn't care enough to keep torturing me or make sure I'm dust before she runs off to find her daddy."

"You're telling me you are upset because she didn't keep torturing you?" I asked completely mystified. 

When he began to run his fingers through my hair, I stared up into his beautiful face. Even in the moonlight I could see his sad smile. "I'm saying it hurt because she didn't care. If she loved me she would have tortured me until I was back in her good graces or she would have dusted me. That is how Dru thinks. Instead she tossed me away as if I was nothing to her. As much as that hurt, the part that really scared me was what Dru and Darla would do to you. Their mistake was telling me what they had planned for you than leaving me alive" he responded mournfully. 

TBC


	14. Demons Take Halloween Off, Those Are the...

Chapter 14

Demons Take Halloween Off, Those Are the Rules

Willow put the journal down and looked at the rest of the gang. "It looks like alternate Buffy will be dealing with Angelus too," she contended hoping the news wouldn't be too hard on Buffy. 

"At least Buffy and Spike are back together," Dawn blurted out exuberantly. 

"Just remember Dawn that is an alternate reality, it has nothing what so ever to do with us" Buffy elucidated. 

"I don't know Buffy I can see similarities between us and our counter parts. Think about it. Giles the voice of reason, me the good and loyal best friend, Xander hating Spike, and you the best slayer ever" Willow expounded with glee waiting for the others to agree with her. 

"Oh and what about Spike loving Buffy" Dawn declared happily. She was just glad to be included and loved the chance to make her sister squirm. 

Buffy wasn't taking this lying down and had a few comebacks of her own "I don't know let me see, a spoiled snooping younger sister, a sinister double crossing vampire, a skanky crazy ho vampire, and a back stabbing computer teacher. No doesn't sound like anyone I know." 

"Come on slayer you know there is a little bit of us in those people. You do realize that a person's experiences can dictate what she becomes, how she acts, and whom she loves," he said seductively. 

" And whom she hates" Buffy countered.

"Yeah, that too" he agreed quickly. 

Willow watched the banter between the two. Why hadn't she seen it before? Buffy had feelings for Spike. No, that didn't make sense. She would have told me if she had smoochy type feelings for him. Then again, the Scoobies weren't exactly Spike friendly, especially when it came to his feelings for Buffy. I'll talk to her later and let her know that I'm okay with Spike and Buffy smooches. She deserves some happiness and if he makes her happy, I'm all for it. Hearing her name called forced Willow out of her contemplations. 

"Willow you agree" an excited Dawn was asking her.

"I missed something, Dawn what I'm I agreeing to?" Willow questioned the teenager. 

"My overprotective sister thinks that the journal is too scary and that I should get the edited version of the story once the rest of you have read it. Tell her she's wrong. Please Willow. Spike agrees with me, but he always caves to Buffy" a pleading Dawn begged Willow.

"Oi, I don't always cave. Evil vampire here" Spike interjected. 

"Spike, shut up…….. and Dawn you shouldn't drag Willow into this" Buffy said while giving her sister a stern look. 

"Buffy think about it from her point of view. Remember how you felt when Giles refused to let you see some of the journals, so we sneaked them out of the library" Willow reminded her friend. 

"Gee Buffy, I thought I was the only one that did that" Dawn expounded. The result of which was a nasty glare from Buffy.

"Not helping your case pet" Spike chimed in hoping to get Dawn to stop putting her foot in her mouth. 

"I give up. You have me outnumbered, but if I think something is too scary or skanky the book gets closed and everyone gets the second hand version from me" Buffy reverberated. Only after she elicited nods from everyone did she ask who wanted to read next. 

It was decided that Spike would have the honors of reading the next section. 

***

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I can't believe that Nazi principal Snyder roped me into taking kids trick or treating. Spike and I were going to spend a quiet evening together. Halloween is the one night of the year that is guaranteed to be quiet. Spike refuses to go with me. He says the rules state that demons take the night off. I guess I shouldn't complain he has given up quite a bit for me. The no killing or feeding off humans is the big one. I still know what he is and what he's capable of doing, but he told me that giving up human blood makes it easier. After feeding from human blood the demon is harder to control, so he mostly drinks pig's blood. 

We've been researching Angelus and Spike has been a big help. However, thus far there has been no sign of him, Drusilla or Darla. Also, Spike and Giles refuse to tell me everything about Angelus. I'm the slayer I have to know what to expect, so while I distracted Giles Willow borrowed a book that contained information about Angel. Can I say gross, Angel is one sick puppy. The sooner I stake him the better off the world will be. 

***

Spike was laughing so hard he couldn't continue to read. Buffy gave him a nasty look and asked him what the heck was so funny. 

__

* Okay, any ideas on what the gang should wear for Halloween? I can have them in the same costumes as from the series or we can be more creative. Dawn will be there too. Remember Ethan will still put a spell on them. Post ideas before I write the next part. If you want Angel, Dru, and Darla to show up they can end up in costume too. I will try to make this chapter light, just for you Emm. 


	15. Lost in the Twilight Zone part 1

It was a hard decision on what costumes to have the characters wear. Buffy was probably the hardest. 

Chapter 15

Lost in the Twilight Zone part one

"If you can't control yourself you can't read anymore!" an angry Buffy yelled at Spike.

"Oh Bleedin' hell slayer, Red and Dawn both thought it was funny " Spike responded while pointing to the two girls. 

"NO they didn't!" Buffy countered as she took in the sight of the two tight-lipped girls violently shaking their heads no. 

"Right" was all he said to Buffy as he handed her the journal.

Both Dawn and Willow breathed a sigh of relief, because they were afraid an argument with Buffy would lead to no more reading. 

"I think I'll read now, if there are no objections" Buffy told the group.

*~*~*~*

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If Giles ever tries to tell me again that demons take a day off I think I'll have a weenie roast over his favorite collection of dusty old books. As it turned out principal Snyder was the least of my problems on Halloween. With the help of my friends I've pieced together what happened that night. There are a few holes, for I have a feeling that my friends may go to their graves never divulging everything that happened that night. 

Things started out fine. I picked up my black leather biker outfit at Ethan's. Tight black leather was something I thought Spike would like. I could spend the evening with him after I dropped off the children at the school, so the night wouldn't be a total waste. While I was in the shop I spotted an outfit that I had to get for Spike. Even though he wasn't up for trick or treating didn't mean he wasn't up for an intimate Halloween party for two. Taking my purchases I headed for Spike's apartment. 

"Have you bloody lost it? I am not wearing this outfit" Spike protested as he stared at me. "Now if you had gotten me a Harley jacket like yours I might have considered it" he told me while making faces at the costume I had selected.

"Spike you're acting like I'm asking you to put on a pink tutu and dance around the neighborhood" I said glaring at him.

"This is almost as bad. Buffy NO, NO, NO, it's a uniform and if anyone sees me in this my reputation as a big bad would we seriously compromised. Besides bad ass vampires do no where khaki" he stressed. 

"And exactly who is going to see you? I thought that we could have a little party for two. But I guess if you don't want to, I can take my black leather clad body to one of the many Halloween parties I've been invited to" I told him as I shoved my outfit back into the shopping bag. 

Spike approached me and wrapped his arms around my waist bringing his chest in contact with my back. His fingers caressed my abdomen and slowly inched up toward my breast. As his thumb made tiny circle over my nipple I couldn't help but moan. "You're coming back here tonight aren't you Luv? I want the pleasure of seeing you in that outfit and than seeing you out of it" he whispered in my ear seductively. 

"Are you wearing your costume for me?" I asked. He was now nibbling on my neck and if I didn't get out of here soon I wasn't getting out at all. It is amazing how his cold touch sets my body on fire. Sometimes it scares me when I think about the control he has over my body. I needed to be strong and tell him no unless he wears his costume. I decided to use my secret weapon, so I turned in his arms and gave him my pouty lip and sullen look "Please Spike. I want to be the bad girl that corrupts the sexy good boy with her wicked ways." 

"Oi luv, not the lip" he said as his mouth crushed mine. My arms were soon wrapped around his neck as I pressed my body to his. His erection rubbed against my stomach causing a fluttering sensation in my core. I had to get control, so I pushed him away "Spike we don't have time. I'm meeting the gang at my house in 30 minutes" I said breathlessly. 

"So my girl wants to play," he said running his fingers up and down my arms. He was giving me that sexy smile that turns my resolve to Jell-O. "I'll wear the bleedin' uniform, but don't you forget who the real big bad is" he uttered as he pulled me in for another kiss. 

*~*~*~*

I was just finishing putting on my biker outfit when Willow and Xander showed up. Willow looked adorable in her 1960's flower child outfit. Her jeans were patched well-worn bell-bottoms and her tee shirt had a huge airbrushed pot leave on it. Finishing up the out fit was a fringed dark brown suede jacket and a matching floppy hat. 

"Will I love the outfit. You didn't get that from the costume shop did you?" I asked my friend

"Only the belt and the tee shirt. The rest is curtsey of the attic" she told me. 

"So your mom was a hippie?" I inquired. 

"She prefers the term bohemian or flower child, but yeah," Willow said giving me a smile. "But enough about me, look at you Buffy. You're all sexy and a bad girl in black. Has Spike seen you yet? I think he is going to love you in that outfit. Not that he doesn't already love you…..You know what I mean." 

Chuckling at her, I replied "I understand. And to answer your question Will, he has seen the outfit, but not on me. I'm saving that for later tonight."

"Can't you two have a conversation that doesn't involve the bleached wonder" Xander grumbled. 

I ignored his comment like I always do and I redirected the conversation to his costume. "And Xander who are you suppose to be?" I asked him while giving his khaki shorts and shirt the once over. 

"Come on Buff, you should know. Here's a hint, Ah isn't she a beauty " he said while holding up a two foot long fake crocodile. "I'm Steve the crocodile hunter. I only had to rent the crocodile. The shorts and shirt are mine."

"Nice Xander. Are we ready to go face the demons, I mean children and principal Snyder?" I asked my friends. With agreement from all we headed off to complete our mission of securing the most candy with the least amount of effort. 

*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, Cordelia Chase was giving directions to the trick or treaters under her care. "Team how do we secure additional candy?" she barked to the four children in front of her. 

In unison the children replied "We compliment them on their choice of treats, than we tell them how nice they look tonight."

"That's the team spirit I want to see. Now lets go get them" she told them.

"What if they are ugly. Do we still have to tell them they look nice?" a little boy in a frog outfit asked.

"Listen frog boy. I'm the queen of getting what I want. You listen to me and you'll have more candy then you can eat in a month" she told him. A big smile spread across his green face as he shook his head yes. With everything under control Cordelia in her skin tight poodle outfit followed by four excited children headed for the first house on the block. 

Cordelia and her group were just starting down the second block when all hell broke loose. The children turned into whatever costume they were wearing. There were monsters and demons everywhere. She ended up running for her life with a big hairy creature from the black lagoon chasing her. It was right behind her and she thought she was a goner when a van came to a screeching halt ten feet from her. The door flow open and Oz yelled "Cordelia get in." Cordelia drove for the door, but the monster was able to grab her foot. With the door still open and Cordelia sprawled across the front seat Oz took off. With the van moving and Cordelia kicking at it for all she was worth the hairy creature lost his grip and tumbled to the pavement. 

*~*~*~*

Across town in an old factory Jonathan huddled on the cold dirty floor crying and shaking. He knew his life was about to end. They had already killed and eaten several others and he was next. The scene before him was like something out of a horror movie. 

The big male vampire had his teeth sunk into the neck of a young man in a teenage mutant ninja turtle outfit. Once the vampire had drained the young man he started to examine the man's costume. What do we have here? He pulled the purple cloth mask off the dead teen and put it on then he started to twirl around the Bo-staff that was part of the costume. He called to the two female vampires "Dru, Darla would you ladies like to play a game?" 

The female vampires were in the process of enjoying dinner and reluctantly removed their fangs from the throat of the dead girl who was dressed like a nun. Darla's blood smeared lips formed a devilish grin and she called to her lover "You know I love games Angel as long as there is as much pleasure as pain." 

His laughter echoed through the building. "What about you Dru? You're the queen of pain and pleasure," he said fiendishly as he lovingly caressed the tools from the tool belt he had just put on. 

Drusilla's reaction was not what he expected. She started to shake and cry out "No, no, no something's wrong my Angel."

"Dru, Dru, Dru you spent way to many years in the company of that love sick puppy William. You forgot how to have a good time. Darla remembers don't you baby?" Angel said sadistically. 

Jonathan was horrified as Darla started to remove her clothes and then put the dead girls habit on. She sashayed over to Angel and whimpered "Angel what kind of games do you have in mind?"

"Wrong, wrong, wrong, it's all going wrong. The songs are all off key. The bad man craves the chaos created by this discord!" Drusilla cried as she frantically paced through the room. 

Angel had had enough of his child's ranting and grabbed Dru by the hair. "Enough! We are the evil, the bad, the ones that crave chaos, so let it come. I'll welcome it. I'll bath in it" he proclaimed than shoved the whimpering Dru away from him. 

"It's here!" Drusilla screamed. 

*~*~*~*

Spike grumbled as he picked up the uniform. What was she thinking when she picked out a motorcycle cop costume. He played with the fake handcuffs for a moment and thought, if she wants to play I have the real thing. He proceeded to strip off his clothes and put the uniform on. If Buffy wanted to play a little role reversal game he wasn't going to complain. Dizziness overcame him just as he finished putting on the uniform. When his head cleared he looked around and couldn't figure out how he got here. 

He appeared to be in someone's apartment. Was he here on police business? He doubted it. Traffic cops don't usually make house calls. A shrill scream pierced the night. His first instinct was to protect. He exited the apartment letting years of police training take over. A three-foot high green demon with a horn protruding from his forehead was accosting a young woman in a red cape. 

"Police, get away from the girl" the officer shouted at the demon while pointing a gun at its head. The demon slowly backed up than turned to run. The policeman would have followed but the girl decided to take that moment to faint. His first duty was to protect the girl, so he bent down to see if she was ok. 

The girl turned out to be fine. He wanted to help her home, however all she could tell him was that her name was red riding hood and that she lived in the forest. He needed to get her to the police station, but his motorcycle was nowhere to be found. When he called for backup they informed him that things were crazy and he would have to get her to the station on his own. As it turned out they were able to get a ride with a couple that were happy to pick up a cop. The couple franticly told him about mummies and monsters taking over their neighborhood. 

Once he safely dropped the girl off at the station he went to the motor pool to secure another motorcycle. The sergeant agreed that he could go check out the residential area that was overrun by dangerous bad guys. Every available policeman was already out patrolling Sunnydale. The sergeant told him he had never seen anything like it. At first they had thought it was some trick or treaters playing pranks, but the reports he was getting made him believe that hell had finally come to Sunnydale. 

*~*~*~*

Oz turned to Cordelia "I like the outfit. Not many people could pull it off."

"Thanks Oz, but look what that overgrown lagoon beast did to my 250 dollars boots?" an angry Cordelia ranted. 

"It could be worse. It could be your blood on the boots instead of his" Oz said trying to make her look on the bright side. "Boots aside Cordelia have you noticed anything strange? I mean not normal Sunnydale strange, but definitely wrong even for here. I saw kids turn into dogs, monsters, and in one case president Clinton. Care to speculate?" he asked in a calm reassuring voice. 

"Except for the fact that this town is a bigger hellhole than usual not a clue. Wait a minute if something insane is going on that means Buffy will be right there in the middle of it" Cordelia proclaimed. "We need to find Buffy. We can try her house first" she declared.

"Who is Buffy?" Oz asked

"Long bizarre story. I'll tell you some other time for now let me give you directions to her house. Take the next left on Maple Street. Once you get to ……..Stop the van!" Cordelia screamed. Oz brought the van to a jarring halt. Cordelia jumped out of the van and raced to a group of individuals. Oz was right on her heels. Cordelia yelled at the redhead in a brown floppy hat, "Willow, Willow is that you? What is going on? Willow what is wrong with your eyes? Where did you get those hideous clothes, Beggars Are Us? Is that Buffy's sister those dwarfs are carrying?" 

Willow addressed the overexcited Cordelia "Yeah man. You wouldn't happen to have a doobie?" 

"Oz that is Buffy's little sister. Don't let those Munchkins run off with her" Cordelia demanded. 

"Hey, It might be a good idea to let me have the kid. My friend over there knows her and if I were you I wouldn't piss her off. She put the B in bitch. So if you don't mind I'll take the kid" Oz told the four dwarfs. They ignored him and continued to carry the sleeping Dawn.

Oh boy here it comes Oz thought. After all he had warned them. They were about to feel the wrath of hurricane Cordelia. She stepped directly in front of the lead dwarf and placed her palm on his forehead. "And where do you think you are going short stuff? I'll tell you where. Out of here, but your leaving the girl with us. Don't even think you can out stare me little man. That is the kid sister of an almost friend of mine that just happens to be the second biggest bad ass around. Do you want to lay odds on who is the biggest bad ass in this town?"

While Oz was watching Cordelia take charge of the Munchkins, Willow frolicked over to him and asked, "Where's the party? I think your friend could use one. She is giving off negative vibes. It's bringing me down. She needs to chill." 

Oz eyed the hippie chick and told her "That is Cordy's thing. She has the negative vibe thing down to an art. Don't let her freak you. It's all good."

Cordelia managed to get the dwarfs to put Dawn in the back of Oz's van without any bloodshed. Once Dawn, Willow, Cordelia and Oz were in the van they proceeded to Buffy's house. 

"What is the plan?" Oz asked Cordelia once they were on the road again. 

"Willow isn't going to be any help with her drug addled brain. So the plan stays the same, find Buffy" she informed him.

"What about sleeping beauty, should we find a prince to kiss her and wake her up? I could kiss her, but I don't think I could pass for a prince" Oz joked.

"Have you ever met Dawn? Believe me we are better off with her sleeping. That means no one comes within twenty feet of her with lips." Cordelia replied.

"Hey, what's happenin'? Are we still going to that party?" Willow smiled and asked her companions.

Cordelia rolled her eyes as if to say why me lord. However Oz replied to the redhead's question. "There is some crazy shit happening, so we need to find a friend and hopefully we can get things straightened out."

"You're cool Oz. I can dig where you're coming from. I bet you hear that a lot?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, I hear it frequently," his reply earning a smile from Willow. 

*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, in the old factory across town things had just taken a strange turn. Drusilla watched in horror as the two vampires and the human in the room with her morphed into different beings. Her bellowing echoed off the walls of the near empty factory "My Angel is gone-gone-gone. I have to get him back. I have to get him back. I have to get him back. Ahhh my poor Angel-Angel-Angel."

The Vulcan found himself restrained by ropes and sitting on the floor of what appeared to be some sort of warehouse. Luckily he still had his communicator, tricorder, and phaser. Due to the confusion in the room, he was able to use his phaser to cut the ropes without the others noticing. 

Once free he stood and pointed his phaser at the three humanoids in the room. The female with the dark hair made a run for it. The phaser blast seemed to stun her momentarily, but she continued out the exit. The Vulcan considered chasing her, but thought a better course of action would be to question the other two. "My name is Spock. I am the science officer on the starship USS Enterprise. Could you tell me how I came to be here?" Neither answered. Spock pulled out his tricorder to find out if anything could be done for the two blood stained people on the floor. Both were dead and had bite marks on their necks. Almost every drop of blood had been drained from their bodies. 

"What killed these people?" Spock asked the woman and the green turtle creature in front of him. The female only sank to the ground and started chanting a prayer. 

The green turtle creature finally spoke "I believe it was the vampire that just left. You say you're a science officer. That is my gig too. I'm part of a crime fighting team, the teenage mutant ninja turtles. My name is Donatello. And like you I have know idea how I got here."

Using his tricorder Spock found out that the female was human and that the male was indeed a mutated human – turtle hybrid. Spoke was unable to contact the ship, but he did make contact with Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy. The Captain and doctor were on the other side of what the Captain referred to as a mid sized US city from the Twilight Zone. He informed them he would stay in contact. Spock needed to find the vampire and get some answers. Donatello offered to assist him in the search and with some reluctance they decided it was not safe to leave the helpless female here alone, so they took her with them. 

*~*~*~*

How do I get myself into these messes the petite blond said to herself. She couldn't remember how she got to this damn town in the first place. If this was a joke one of her friends had pulled they were in for a world of hurt when she got back to LA. She was wearing her leathers which was good, but she had no ID and no money. Like she would ever be caught dead on a bus anyway. She needed to steal some transportation and get the hell out of here. Maybe this town would be okay if she had some weapons and the rest of her gang. And people say LA attracts all the weird ones, ha, it has nothing on this place. 

She had almost snatched a van a little while ago. The couple in the van stopped to pick up a hippie chick and her passed out friend. I actually felt sorry for the owner of the van. His girlfriend was one major bitch.

Her mood brightened considerably when she spotted a bike just asking to be taken. It wasn't a Harley, but it would have to do. She could hear fighting around the corner of the building. Oh well, to bad you lose I win. The bike came to life, however the next thing she heard was the firm sound of a man's voice, "Police, put your hands in the air and step away from the motorcycle." She complied and he ran his hands up and down her body looking for weapons, but she didn't have any on her. All she could think about was I'm on probation this means the big house for me. There has to be a way to get him to let me go. 

"Can I turn around?" she asked but started to turn before he had a chance to answer. Oh yeah, he was hot for a cop she thought as she examined him from his piercing blue eyes to his boot covered toes. I've got to get him to let me go. He looked like the type that likes his women all helpless, so he can play hero. "Hey I wasn't fu…..Stealing it. I was scared and needed to get away from the monsters. Have you seen some of the creatures walking the streets?" she said trying to sweet talk the cop. 

Her lame attempt to sweet talk him was cut short when the two were attacked by a group of flesh eating zombies. The officer head butted one and elbowed another in the jaw. The girl was not fairing as well with her two zombies. They were restraining her by the arms and were getting ready to munch on her tender flesh when several shots rang out. The zombies fell to the ground, but were soon getting up to continue the fight. The officer yelled to the girl "Come on, get on." She jumped on the bike and wrapped her arms around his waist. The bike sped off, however when the duo had gone about 50 yards it died. He tried to restart it, but it wouldn't turn over. 

"Come on they are following us" She screamed at him. A quick inspection of the motorcycle showed that one of his bullets must have gone through the zombie and hit the bike. It wasn't going anywhere. 

"Come on, the bike is shot. We need to make a run for it!" he shouted as he grabbed her hand and made a dash for the nearest house. They tried three or four houses before they found a garage they could hide in. 

"Look for a hammer and some nails!" he ordered her. While she was doing that he secured the garage door with some rope. 

"I got some. Here they are," she yelled.

"Help me get these boards over to the side door. We are going to barricade ourselves in" he informed her as he started to hammer the first board across the doorway. 

The zombies had found them and were trying to get into the garage. The duo franticly hammered more boards into place in hopes of keeping them out. 

*~*~*~*

"My readings would confirm that the vampire is indeed headed for the downtown area of the city" Spock informed his companions.

"Oh lord it is judgement day. I must pray for the righteous!" the nun said to no one in particular and continued to chant prayers.

"You know Mr. Vulcan" Donatello said but was cut off by Spock. 

"It is Mr. Spock" he clarified. 

"Sorry pal, Mr. Spock you are lucky that it was me that was there instead of one of my fellow turtles. I'm the brains behind the outfit. If there is something that needs fixed, invented or figured out I'm your guy or turtle for the job" he boasted. 

"Then I am fortunate to have you to assist me in this endeavor" Spock told Donatello. 

A nasty demon jumped out and attacked the nun. Her scream alerted Donatello and Spike to its presence. Before you could say jackrabbit, Donatello sprung into action. His Bo-stick flying through the air one end making contact with the demons jaw then the other end knocking his feet out from under him. The demon lay unceremoniously out cold on the ground. 

"Did I mention that I am an expert in the art of Ninjistu fighting" Donatello stated proudly. 

"No, but I am doubly fortunate to have your assistance" the Vulcan informed him. 

*~*~*~*

Oz and Cordelia found no one home at Buffy's. "Come on I think she keeps weapons in her room" Cordelia told Oz. The two had little trouble finding her stash of weapons and carried as many as they could in one trip to the van.

"Cordelia, I was wondering, isn't it a bit strange to have a stash of weapons in your bedroom?" Oz asked her. She gave him that look and he said "Okay, it's a long bizarre story and you'll tell me some other time. I'm going to hold you to it. By the way, where to now?"

"The only other person I can think of is Giles" she told him.

"Giles the school librarian" Oz asked skeptically. 

"The one and only. But before you ask, don't ask. It's a long story" she informed him.

"I'm getting it" he told her.

"This is boring" Willow complained as she followed the two out of the house.

"Willow what are you doing in the house? You were suppose to keep an eye on sleeping beauty I mean Dawn" Cordelia chided Willow.

" I got bored and wanted to have some fun. This gig is turning into a real bummer" Willow complained. 

"We got a problem guys. Dawn is gone" Oz told the girls. 

TBC

Note from author. What happened to Dawn? Will Giles save the day or will it be mutant ninja turtle (Angel)? Will the zombies get Buffy and Spike? Who are James T Kirk and Leonard McCoy? Where the heck is Xander anyway? 

Amanda Lord I went with your idea for Willow as a flower child. After all, this season they have had her character all spaced out on magic. 

Blde Redwind I think you're right that Buffy would dress for Spike. I like the Scarlet idea, but that is more how she would dress for Angel not Spike, so we get Buffy in badass chick attire. 

Heah peah Spike as a policeman with handcuffs is your idea and I couldn't get it out of my head. Also, I promised Jen she would get scenes with handcuffs. So the handcuffs are for you Jen and we haven't seen the last of them yet.

Alexia Thomas you get your wish, Angel as a mutant ninja turtle. 

Bubonic you get your wish Dawn as Sleeping Beauty.

Everyone wanted Darla as a nun, so that was a no brainer.

I decided to make Jonathan Spock. I know he would dress as a sci-fi character and Spock is my favorite, so I had to fit him in somehow. 

Colorado Woman wanted Xander as the invisible man, while so far he has been pretty much invisible. 


	16. Lost in the Twilight Zone part 2

I want to say how sorry I am for not updating sooner. The way Spike and Buffy ended last year made it very hard for me to even want to write about them for a while. 

Chapter 16

Lost in the Twilight Zone part 2

__

"I think they're gone " the biker chick told the officer with a sigh of relief.

"There was no answer at the station. I don't like this. We are on our own. As much as I don't want to go back out there if the zombies are gone I think we need to" he told her.

"I'm not going out there!" she yelled at him. She looked around the garage for the first time. It was a typical two-stall garage containing some tools, a lawnmower, and an old 1963 Thunderbird. "Unless you plan to hot-wire that T-bird and you and I hightail it out of this hellhole of a town I'm staying put" she informed him. 

"This is my town and it is my job to protect its citizens" he countered.

"Well it's not my job or my town. I don't even know how I got here. So if you want to be a good little civil servant you can go out there, but I'm taking that car and I'm getting the hell out of this town!" she proclaimed as she went over to see if she could get it running. 

"No, you are not. We stay together. You said it yourself; you don't know how you got here. How are you going to find your way out of town?" he told her as he moved to intercept her. 

Either she wanted to get out of this town now or she wanted to stay put until sunrise. He wanted to go off and be a hero. Where the heck did that leave her? She was lost in this town and she was alone and weaponless. He was blocking her way. Well if he didn't want to get out of town maybe she could convince him to stay here in the garage. "Maybe we could wait a little bit before we leave," she said while moving close to him. She placed her right hand on his chest and gaze up into his eyes. "Those zombies might be out there waiting for us to make a run for it."

"They undoubtedly found some other tidbit that looked tastier then we did. I believe it is safe to go" he informed her as he brought his hands up to her shoulder to gently push her away. 

"You look pretty tasty from where I'm standing right now" she purred as her arms snaked up around his neck. 

"Miss this is not the time or………" he was cut off as her lips found his. He resisted for only a moment before pulling her tight against his body. His tongue invaded her mouth and she was lost in the sensation. She felt him move her back until she made contact with the workbench. He removed her arms from around his neck and caressed them lovingly all the while plundering her mouth. She was so lost in ecstasy that she was caught off guard when he suddenly pulled away. She tried to move towards him, but was restricted by a pull on her right arm. That was when she realized he had handcuffed her right wrist to the workbench. 

*~*~*~*

"She can't be far" Cordelia told them. 

"I think she went this way," Oz said pointing to an area between the two houses directly across the street. 

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"Smell, it is a long story. Remind me to tell you some day" he said while grabbing an ax and running off in that direction.

Cordelia settled on a can of pepper stray and a sword. She ran after him with Willow following on her heels crying out "Give peace a chance! Violence is not the answer! Make love not war!" 

It didn't take long for Oz to find Dawn and her abductors. Four flesh eating zombies were walking off with a sleeping Dawn. He brought the ax down in the middle of the back of the one carrying Dawn. It stumbled and dropped the girl to the ground. Within seconds all four zombies had their sights set on Oz. 

Oz fighting off four zombies and Dawn on the ground at his feet is what Cordelia found when she got to the scene. "Oz don't kill them they are probably our classmates" she screamed as she started to atomize the zombies with the pepper stray. It caused them to stop fighting long enough for Oz, and Cordelia to seize Dawn by her feet and drag her back to the van. 

Once Dawn was safely in the van Cordelia went to open the passenger door only to be grabbed from behind. "Well mate, aren't you a beauty" the crocodile hunter gleefully exclaimed. "These little bitches are smart and make good pets. You're a good girl." Cordelia kicked him in the shin and he cried "Oh, oh, oh! She's a naughty girl." 

"Xander you idiot let go of me!" she screamed at him. 

"Yeah mate, she is a feisty one. I think she is going to bite me," he said tightening his hold on her.

"Xander I'm going to do more than bite you if you don't let me go right this instant! I'm not a dog you moron!" she yelled. His hold on her disappeared as she heard him cry out in pain. Catching her breath she turned around to see Willow standing over him with a rock in her hand. 

Cordelia and Oz checked to make sure he was still breathing. "Is this another one of your friends Cordy?" Oz asked her. She shrugged her shoulders and gave Oz a small smile. 

"He wasn't playing nice" Willow interrupted.

"We need to get him into the van and get going the zombies are coming back" Oz told them. 

"Willow help us get him into the van. After all you're the one who knocked him out" Cordelia ordered Willow.

Once they were all in the van and speeding down the street Oz asked "Should we take him to a hospital or are we going to Mr. Giles's?"

"We have to pass near Giles's place anyway, so why don't you drop me off there and you can take croc boy to the hospital" Cordelia told him. 

*~*~*~*

"Why did you handcuff me, you son of a bitch? Am I under arrest?" the biker chick asked.

"No, of course not. Like I said this is not the time or the place. I need to think and with you wrapped around me that is not going to happen" he informed her. 

She sneered at him and responded "I didn't want you anyway. Only having a little fun. Thought if I played nice you would too."

"If I remember correctly you were the one that started the kissing. Nevertheless, that is not our problem. We need to figure out what caused those monsters to come to life" he told her. He could see how upset she was. "Maybe we can start over. My name is Officer Crawford. Who are you?" he asked trying to smile. 

"It is just my luck to get stuck with a police officer that wants to handcuff me and than play nice" the girl said giving him a deadly stare. "So Officer Crawford you want to be friends then you can go find my missing bike, so I can get out of this nightmare" she ranted.

He ignored her request and went on rambling "Whatever happened made us loose the memory of the event. It messed with our minds. I found myself in a strange apartment."

"Now I know you are crazy. There is nothing wrong with my mind" she insisted.

"If that is true than how did you get to Sunnydale?" he questioned her.

"Okay so I don't know how I got here, but I know who I am. I'm Liz and I live in LA" she mumbled.

"Fine Liz from LA you just don't wake up and find yourself in a strange place?" he asked impatiently. 

"Maybe you don't, but there have been a few times when I……. " and she snapped her mouth shut as she realized what she was about to say to a police officer. "It is clear that magic is involved. It must have affected the whole town unless this is a normal day in your town" she asked sarcastically. 

"No this is not a normal day, however I can't believe that it is magic. Magic that could affect a whole town is pretty scary. There must be some other explanation. I know that there are groups of witches in Sunnydale and we have some strange occurrences, but nothing like this" he replied definitively. 

"While you are trying to figure this out can you at least uncuff me. I promise not to jump your bones again. I know when I'm not wanted" she told him.

"You think I don't want you" he replied whiling dragging her into his arms. He pressed his erection against her stomach and his hands traveled from her waist to her ass and drew her further into his embrace. "Does this feel like a man that is not interested?" he questioned as his lips found hers. Their mouths dueled for dominance. When he finally broke the kiss he whispered "I want you so much I can't think straight, but our lives and the lives of others may rely on me thinking straight. If we get out of this mess I'll prove to you how interested I am. I'll take you on a real date with dinner and a movie and more of this for dessert." He gave her one last hard kiss before he unlocked the handcuffs. 

"This has been one crazy Halloween. It is like every scary costume that has ever been created has come to life and we are stuck in the middle of this nightmare" she muttered as she rubbed her wrist.

"Oh, that is it! Why didn't I think of it? The Halloween costumes have a spell on them! " He shouted.

"Okay lets say that they do, what are you going to do about it?" she asked.

"We start by checking the Magic Box than we go check all the costume shops in town" he decreed.

"Hey, what is this we stuff? There is no we. I want to get the heck out of this town and back to the insanity that is LA" she said decisively. .

"Let us compromise and I'll take you someplace safe while I check out the leads. Maybe I could take you to the police station. Once everything is safe I'll drive you to LA" he said than gave her an amiable smile. 

She thought about it for a minute than came to the conclusion she wasn't ready to let him leave her just yet. Approaching the T-bird she said, "If we can get this car running it shouldn't take us long to check out those places. Besides my idea of a safe place isn't the police station, so I'll just tag along with you." The car was not locked, but she couldn't find a set of keys. "Looks like we are going to have to hot-wire this baby." He made no protest and she had it running in less than a minute. 

"I should drive" he told her.

"Be my guest it's your show baby. I'm only along for the ride" she replied while getting into the passenger seat. 

"I'm not going to ask where you learned to do that," he said as he pulled the car out into the alley.

She replied, "Good because I wouldn't have told you."

*~*~*~*

Spock, Donatello and the nun were nearing the downtown area when James T. Kirk's voice was heard over Spock's communicator. "Spock, I will be joining you in a few minutes."

Spock tuned to his companions "Once the Captain has joined us we can continue our search for this vampire."

"Spock old pal, you wouldn't happen to have another one of those phasers. I would love to see how that thing works. I'm an inventor and all around superhero that protects the world from the forces of evil. My team can use a handy weapon like that to fight the dark forces that corrupt the good citizens of Earth" Donatello stated.

"That will not be possible. The Federation's Prime Directive prohibits interfering with another civilization's natural progression" the Vulcan informed him. 

"The Prime what? Is that some kind of freaky rule that you space aliens use to keep from lending a helping hand? Doesn't seem that friendly to me. Us superheroes need to stick together" Donatello muttered. 

"I assure you that the Prime Directive was enacted to protect the integrity of developing civilizations" the Vulcan replied.

As Spock continued to reiterate the importance of the Prime Directive James T. Kirk and Dr. Leonard McCoy joined them. "Captain I believe the vampire we are searching for is near. Maybe she will be able to give us the information we need to find out how we got here. It appears we are on Earth in the late twentieth century. To be more precise we are in a California town named Sunnydale. Have you been able to contact the ship?" Spock asked.

"No. Are your sure this is Earth? The creatures we have encountered would say otherwise" the captain questioned his first officer. 

"Yes, this is Earth. The star patterns along with the readings I've taken of the area indicate that we are on Earth. Did your readings indicate something different?" he asked. 

"We didn't take any readings. Between Bones and I we only had one communicator and no phaser or tricorder. It is nice to see you have all three. If we are going to get to the bottom of this we better find this vampire of yours" the captain said while directing Spock to lead the way. 

"Maybe the captain wasn't getting tired of using his fist to fend off the demons on this planet, but I sure was" the doctor muttered as he followed the group. 

"Dr. McCoy you appear to have survived the ordeal unscathed" Spock said without turning to look at the doctor.

"Easy for you to say. You were not out there fighting all kinds of hobgoblins with only your wits and your fists" the doctor replied. 

"Are you a real space doctor?" Donatello interrupted as he got in step with Dr. McCoy.

"I don't know what you mean, but if you are asking if I'm a real doctor the answer is yes. And if I may ask what are you?" the doctor requested. After hearing Donatello ramble on for a five minutes he wished he hadn't asked. 

*~*~*~*~*

Oz's van pulled up in front of Giles' apartment. Cordelia jumped from the van telling Oz to wait a minute she needed to make sure Giles was there. Cordelia didn't even bother to knock as she raced into his apartment. 

Oz patiently waited behind the wheel of his van, but when screams suddenly erupted from the apartment he immediately sprinted into action, ax in hand. After entering the apartment and taking in the sight Oz smiled with a sigh of relief. Cordelia stood speechless pointing at Giles, while Giles was equally speechless trying to cover himself. "Nice costume Mr. Giles" Oz said breaking the silence. Giles was dressed in a shocking pink and black corset with garters and black fishnet stockings. He was carrying a pink feather boa and his outfit was completed with black spike heeled boots. 

"It is not what you think" Giles was telling the pair. 

"It's cool man. Cordy he is Doctor Frank-N-Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show" Oz told a stunned Cordelia. 

"Quite right young man. I didn't mean to scream like a teenage girl but Cordelia startled me," Giles said trying to keep some dignity. 

"Name is Oz I'm a student at Sunnydale High. I didn't realize that Rocky Horror was playing anywhere or is the costume for a Halloween party?" Oz asked the embarrassed librarian. 

"I was meeting a friend and we were heading to San Diego for a midnight showing" He replied.

"Well Giles this is no time to be going to a show. The whole town has been taken over by monsters or at least the costumes have taken over the town. By the way you are not having ideas about having an orgy with Oz and me are you? I don't think I could take that" Cordelia spouted. 

"Good lord no!" Giles practically screamed with a look of disgust on his face.

"Just checking to see if you were still you" she replied.

Before he could reply Willow came prancing into the apartment. "I thought I should tell you some guy with a eye patch is taking Sleeping Beauty" Willow informed the group. They rushed out the door Giles skimpy attire forgotten at the moment. 

Sure enough a pirate was making off with Dawn. Oz was the first to get to him. The pirate placed Dawn on the ground and took a swing at Oz. Oz retaliated by landing a few swift punches to the pirate's midsection. However, Oz jumped back as the pirate pulled out a dagger. "Enough of this" Cordelia muttered as she cold cocked the pirate in the head with a small club she had taken from the back of the van. Trying his best to balance on his high heels, Giles picked up Dawn and carried her back to the van. 

"Oz this is Larry do you think we should take him with us too?" Cordelia asked.

"This gets stranger by the minute. I don't think we can leave him here. I have some rope in the van. I guess we could tie him up and take him to the hospital with Xander" Oz replied as he started to drag the bigger man to the van. 

Giles was waiting for them. "What happened to Xander?" he asked.

"Willow knocked him out when he attacked Cordelia" Oz said as he was looking for the rope to tie up Larry. 

"What is going on?" Giles demanded.

"People are turning into whatever they are wearing for Halloween" Cordelia blurted out. 

"If that was the case than why are you not a dog and why I am not a …… Well you know?" Giles said quietly. 

"We haven't been able to figure that one out Mr. Giles" Oz answered.

As Oz and Cordelia tied up Larry Giles thought about why only some costumes were affected. "Cordelia where did you get your costume?" he asked

"Costume World" she answered.

"Xander does not appear to be in costume yet he was affected" Giles went on thinking out loud. 

"He is in costume. He is a crocodile hunter" Oz responded. 

"What the heck is a crocodile hunter and why was he attacking Cordelia? A blind man could see she wasn't a crocodile" Giles replied with a shake of his head.

"Don't worry I won't let him forget it for a long time. Pay backs are a bitch," she said as she made her way to the passenger side of the vehicle. 

"Oh dear, I almost feel sorry for the boy" Giles whispered to Oz.

"I can hear you. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes when this is over" Oz agreed with the older man. 

Giles started to examine the costumes on Dawn. Xander, and Larry. "Are we going to the hospital or not?" Cordelia called to Giles and Oz. Giles ignored the brunette and continued to examine what the young people had on. " Willow let me see your costume?" Giles called out to the young girl. Sure enough he found what he was looking for on the back of her airbrushed tee shirt. "I got you" he said grimly.

"What is it? What did you find?" Oz asked.

"I think we need to make another stop before we head to the hospital. Xander and Larry's injuries are the least of their problems. If we don't get to the person that cast the spell we may never get Xander, Dawn, or Larry back at all. Oz head downtown and make it fast" Giles said impatiently. 

*~*~*~*~*

Liz and Officer Crawford found nothing amiss at the Magic Box. The store was locked up tight and there appeared to be no activity inside. Liz pulled a small kit from her jacket and started to pick the lock to the Magic Box door. "What do you think you are doing?" a shocked Officer Crawford asked.

"What does it look like? I'm getting us in there" she responded. 

"That is highly illegal. We have no right to go into this establishment" he said visibly upset. 

"To late I'm in" she retorted as she opened the door and entered the dark shop. He reluctantly followed her into the shop. Ten minutes later the pair exited the shop when they were unable to find any clues.

"Now we can add breaking and entering to the list of crimes you have talked me into committing" he sighed.

"Lighten up, you're the one that wanted me to come with you" she argued. 

"What is that you have there?" he inquired while trying to get her show him what she was hiding under her jacket. "You stole that from the shop, didn't you?" he demanded.

"I only borrowed it" she replied. He pulled out of her hands a 16 inch high carved wooden statue. "I needed some kind of weapon. I need to protect myself."

"That is what I am for. This goes back right now" he groaned as he returned to the Magic Box to take back the statue. She gave him a dirty look and mumbled something under her breath as he reentered the shop. 

"You want me to get killed don't you?" she demanded when he returned.

"Don't be silly. Are you ready to go check out the costume shop?" he asked while walking past her and moving across the street. 

She followed the officer, but all she really wanted to do was get out of Dodge. 

It was a short walk to the costume shop. They didn't see or hear anyone on their way there. "Everyone must be in the residential areas raising all kinds of hell. It's completely dead downtown" he commented. 

"I think I saw something go into that shop just ahead" she whispered to him. "I'm getting a real creepy feeling. If it is alright with you, I will take you up on that offer to visit the police station after all" she said while keeping behind him as he moved toward the costume shop. 

"Whatever it was it entered Ethan's Costume Shop. You stay out here. I'm going to go inside and see what I can find out" he told her.

"You don't get to leave me out here you crazy cop. I'm sticking to you like glue. You said you were going to protect me. Start protecting." she grumbled in a low voice so only he could hear.

"That is what I'm trying to do. Hide here in the shadows by the door. I'm going to sneak in and find out if there is anything strange going on in the shop" he responded softly as he looked down into her beautiful frightened eyes. His hand reached up and caressed her cheek and he smiled down at her and said, "Everything is going to be ok." 

She was never good at waiting and about two minutes after he entered the shop she was right on his heels. She crept along the floor. She could hear voices coming from a room in the back of the shop. As she got closer she could make out what was being said. "You have taken my daddy from me. I want him back. Your magic is dark and sensual, but the pixies told me it was wrong. Naughty little man, I want no more of your lies" the woman's crazy voice gave Liz the wiggins. She wondered where the officer was. At least it didn't sound like the people in the back room had discovered him. 

Damn you Liz he thought, as he heard her enter the shop. Why can't she listen? Now he had to worry about her too. He had already heard enough to know that the man in the shop had cast some kind of spell on the costumes. However, there was another problem. A beautiful vampire was threatening the man. Her threats sent chills down Officer Crawford's spine, because she was obviously as loony as they come. If she killed him the spell may never be reversed. He needed to make his move soon. 

*~*~*~*~*

"Captain the tricorder indicates that the vampire is inside this establishment along with three humans" Spock informed the group. 

"Got to get me one of those things" Donatello told the doctor. 

"Spock and I will check it out. I want the rest of you to stay put" the captain ordered the group. 

"Now wait just a minute Mr. Captain. Who is the superhero of this bunch? You may have the fancy equipment, but I have super strength of both mind and body" Donatello blurted out. 

"Super strength of the mouth too" McCoy muttered to himself. "Captain do me a favor and take him with you" McCoy begged. 

The nun ran up to Kirk and placed her hand on his arm. "My prayers are with you my son." Kirk smiled down at the beautiful sister in front of him and said "thank you." 

"Ok bones, the green guy is with us. Come on we have no time to waste" he said leading both Spock and Donatello into the shop. "Spock that sister is quite a looker. Too bad she is spoken for" he whispered. "Indeed" was all Spock said with a lift of his eyebrow. 

Captain Kirk, Spock, and Donatello moved into the shop. The Captain was leading the way with Spock's phaser in hand. 

Officer Crawford couldn't believe it. He was getting ready to confront the vampire and the spell caster when more people entered the shop. He moved back into his hiding place and waited.

Liz's heart was beating like a drum. More people had entered the shop. The first two men moved past her in the dark. One of them was holding a weapon, maybe a gun. However, it was the sight of the third one that startled her. Even in the dark she could make out his huge size and odd shape. Fear gripped her and she prayed that he could not hear her heart racing. When he turned in the dark and moved toward her she let out an ear-piercing scream and jumped from her hiding place. 

Her scream set everything into motion. Poor Donatello was startled and jumped back tripping over a small chest on the floor. When the captain heard the scream he turned back toward Donatello only to be sent flying as the big turtle helplessly banged into him. The phaser went off shattering the front window and hitting Oz's van as he pulled up in front of the building. Also, during the collision with Donatello the phaser flew from the captain's hand and was lost in the dark. 

~*~*~*~*~

"My God they are shooting at us. Get down!" Giles screamed. Doctor McCoy and the nun ran behind the van for cover. Giles, Oz, Cordelia, and Willow joined them. 

"I've got to get inside. However, if they are using guns I don't think a sword or a club is going to be much protection" Giles informed the group.

Willow picked up her head to peak over the edge of the van and look at the building. Oz reached up and pulled her down saying " I think it is safer if you stay down here with us." Willow smiled and gave him a peace sign. 

McCoy interrupted to ask, "Are you the leader? I want you to know that the Captain and Spock are in there. They are trying to capture a vampire that may have information about what is going on. That shot was not a gun but a phaser."

"Who are you?" Giles asked the man. 

"Doctor Leonard McCoy, chief medical officer on the USS Enterprise" McCoy answered.

"A doctor good. We have some injured people in the back of the van. Do you think you could take a look at them?" Giles asked. McCoy moved around to the back of the van and entered it through the back door. 

"I need to get inside and see what is happenings. If only….." he was interrupted by Oz tapping him on his bare shoulder. "Oz what is it?"

"You do realize who Dr. McCoy is?" Oz asked a perplexed Giles. "You know, Star Trek, Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy they are TV characters." It took a moment for Giles to get the drift of what Oz was trying to tell him. When he did he let out a loud "Oh Good Lord."

*~*~*~*~*~*

When Officer Crawford heard Liz scream then the sound of exploding glass his heart skipped a beat. He raced from his hiding place needing to know that she was ok. He was barely out in the open when Liz threw herself into his arms. 

Spock had already helped Captain Kirk to his feet and was in the process of helping Donatello to his when a wail came from the direction of the backroom. Drusilla stood in the doorway screaming and pointing at Liz and Officer Crawford. "You nasty little slayer get your hands off my William." She turned quickly to face Ethan Rayne. Slowly moving into the backroom with her long thin arm extended and her finger pointing accusingly at Ethan she lamented, "You did this. You took away my daddy and my grandmama. I want them back and I want my Spike back too. If I don't get them I will feed your eyeballs to the crows and that black soul of yours will never again have a refuge."

Liz quietly whispered to Officer Crawford, "She's crazy."

Captain Kirk, Spock, and Donatello intent on capturing the vampire followed her into the backroom. Officer Crawford pushed Liz behind him and proceeded to follow the other men. Liz clutched the back of his shirt and peaked over his shoulder to scared to let him get more than a few inches from her. 

"We only want to talk to you. We have no intention of hurting her," Captain Kirk informed Drusilla. She turned hissed and lunged at him. Within seconds she was battling Spock, Captain Kirk, and Donatello. Ethan seeing this as his opportunity to escape inched his way to the back exit only to come up short as Officer Crawford accosted him. "You weren't planning on going anywhere were you?" he inquired. Ethan's shoulders slumped in defeat.

*~*~*~*~*

Giles and Oz were in the process of formulating a plan when Cordelia screamed "Stop him!"

Giles looked up in time to see Xander get away from the Doctor and run into the costume shop. "Oh good lord! Why can't I get a break?" Giles griped. 

"I think we better go after him" Oz told Giles.

"Oh course we need to go after him. That boy is going to get himself killed and the rest of us long with him" Giles snapped. "Willow stay with Dawn and Larry. Everyone else grab a weapon and follow me."

Giles, Dr. McCoy, Oz, Cordelia, and the nun moved to enter the costume shop. 

*~*~*~*~*

Inside the costume shop the battle continued. Dru was holding her own against the men. Donatello had lost his bo staff at the beginning of the battle. He spotted it on the floor and decided that the Captain and Spock could hold her off long enough for him to get it. Once he had his weapon the fight would be over in minutes. As he bent down and picked it up the Crocodile Hunter jumped on his back. "Look at this one. Isn't he a big boy? They have strong jaws and if you get your fingers too close, snap you can loose it and that would hurt" Xander rambled on while Donatello spun around trying to dislodge him from his back. 

"Get off of me you idiot. I am a superhero. It is my job to fight the forces of evil," Donatello yelled.

McCoy shock his head and said to Giles, "The big turtle is helping the good guys as hard as that is to believe." 

Giles looked on in horror at the sight before him. Drusilla was fighting two men. Spike had Ethan Rayne cornered and Buffy was hiding behind him like a scared rabbit. Xander was on the back of a large turtle like creature that was spinning around trying to throw him off.

*~*~*~*~*

Willow entered the Magic Box because some strange woman was saying "We are the Borg and we are going to assimilate you" and then she had taken off with Dawn. Willow figured she better tell Giles and Cordelia. She could hear the commotion from the back of the shop, so she hunched down low. That is when she spotted the silver thing sticking out from under the counter. She picked up the device and studied it. 

Willow made her way to the back room where all the action was taking place. She was barely in the room when a crazed Drusilla tossed Captain Kirk her direction. Willow decided that she could wait to inform Giles about Dawn and she proceeded to exit the shop as fast as her little legs would carry her. 

Once outside she let out a little sigh of relieve. She still had the silver device in her hand. As she examined it she pushed the fire button. A loud buzz and flash of light came from the device and the mailbox fifteen feet away disappeared in a flash. Willow dropped the device and started to cry, " I killed a mailbox." 

*~*~*~*~*

"Oz we need to get Xander off that turtle's back. On the count of three I'll go left and you go right and we will pull him off," Giles frantically told Oz. 

Oz and Giles never got a chance to put their plan into action. As they moved in Donatello's bo staff hit a statue that was on the table. Ethan cried out "Noooo." The statue tittered on the edge of the table before it lost its battle with gravity and landed on the floor breaking into a thousand pieces. 

As the stunned group tried to reorient themselves, Dru squealed in joy. Donatello reverted to Angelus and easily tossed Xander against the wall, knocking him out cold. The nun raced to Angelus's side. Officer Crawford let go of Ethan and moved toward his old rival Angelus. Captain Kirk, Spike, and Dr. McCoy reverted to Warren, Jonathan, and Andrew and they slowly backed out the room trying to keep from drawing any attention to themselves. 

"Well, well, well if it isn't my wayward grandchild. I heard you had gone soft, but nothing I was told prepared me for just how pathetic you had become" Angelus spouted to Spike. 

"Nice to see you haven't changed. Once a great big poofter always a nancy-boy. By the way I like the turtle shell. Green is definitely your color" Spike said.

Angelus grabbed the turtle shell and whipped it at Spike. Spike dodged the shell without much difficulty and replied "Going to have to do better than that poofter."

"Don't worry he will" Darla purred.

"You forget that Spike is not here alone Darla" Buffy added as she moved up to stand beside Spike. Her arms folded across her chest just daring them to make a move. Darla and Dru started to back up a little and Angelus followed. 

It was at that moment Willow came racing into the room screaming that someone had taken Dawn. Buffy and Spike scanned between Willow and Angelus's group of vampires. However, the need to save Dawn was what was important. The Scoobies backed out of the room and followed Willow out into the street. Spike took one last look at his grandsire and said "Got a girl to save, but don't worry I'll get back to you."

They were barely on the street when Dawn came running up to them. She was followed by Harmony wearing a 7 of 9 outfit. "Well it is about time I found you guys. I am not a baby sitter. Cordelia what are you doing with this group of losers?" Harmony asked. 

"Good question. The night is still young, wasn't Dave having a party?" Cordy asked. 

"It looks like everyone is fine. Should we go after Darla and rest of the vampires?" Giles asked the group. Spike eyed Giles up and down and gave the man a wink. Giles became all flustered and mumbled "Good grief." 

Willow interrupted Giles and Spike's interaction and inquired "Buffy where is Xander?"

"Oh no, we left him in there with the vamps" Buffy called out as she ran back into the costume shop with Willow and Spike in tow. 

"Harmony lets walk to the nearest pay phone and call a cab. If we wait for these losers we'll never get to that party" Cordy told Harmony. Both girls started down the street with Cordelia moaning about her 300 dollar boots being ruined. 

"I thought they cost 250 dollars," Harmony asked.

~*~*~*~*~

" You are both morons. Captain Kirk is the best captain. The others are second rate at best," Warren yelled at his companions. 

"Captain Kirk, pleaseee…… the man was an idiot, going off on every away mission. A captain's place is on his ship," Jonathan replied loudly.

"Goes to show what you know. Kirk was brave and adventurous" Warren countered.

"Brave my rear. He just wanted some of that alien lovin'. Now Janeway she was the brave adventurous one. Just her and her ship and crew against a galaxy" Andrew said. 

"You must be joking. Captain Picard could run rings around those two. He has more class and dignity in his little pinky than those two have in their entire bodies" Jonathan harangued. 

Warren, Andrew, and Jonathan started to push each other as they continued to argue. Suddenly Warren stopped as Cordelia and Harmony came into view. "You girls can keep up the foreplay I have better things to do," he said as he made a bee line for the girls. Andrew and Jonathan were not far behind. After all Harmony did look great in that 7 of 9 outfit and Cordelia always looked great. 

~*~*~*~*~

Present day: Buffy's house 

"I think I liked being a ghost better than a crazy hippie girl. All her spouting about love and piece and she hit Xander with a rock, ran away from the fight, and killed a mailbox" Willow moaned.

"At least your alter ego did more than sleep the whole time. How boring is that?" Dawn whined. 

"And there's not a chance in hell I would wear a highway patrol uniform even if Buffy was supplying whipped cream and handcuffs" Spike said without thinking. 

Three sets of eyes stared at him. "Well yeah, maybe I would." Buffy groaned and Willow and Dawn both went "Ewwww!" simultaneously. 

To be continued.

__


	17. Trying

Chapter 17

Trying

"In the kitchen, Now!" Buffy barked at Spike.

"Bloody hell, what did I do now, Slayer?" Spike implored as he moved to follow her into the kitchen. 

"What the hell was that? Spike we are not together. How could you make it sound like we were?" a pissed-off slayer demanded. 

"For starters luv, everyone knows how I feel about you. It isn't a secret. And by the way, you're the one that told everyone. You couldn't wait to tell your friends and family that Spike was in love with you. Why was that?" Spike inquired while staring into her hard eyes. 

"Because I was disgusted……" but she was cut off by his waving arms and uneasy pacing.

~*~*~*~*~

"Maybe we should go make sure that Spike is not going to end up fitting in an ashtray" Dawn asked as she got up to go to the kitchen.

"Dawn, this is something they need to work out on their own" Willow told her. Willow was quickly determining that her friend cared more for Spike than she was willing to admit. Maybe Dawn and her should leave for awhile and give them a chance to talk. Before she changed her mind she grabbed Dawn by the hand and started to pull her toward the front door. She yelled, "Buffy, Dawn and I was going to mall to buy the new Ghost of the Robot CD. We will pick up ice cream on the way home. We'll be back in an hour." 

Dawn pulled away from Willow long enough to call out, "Buffy don't stake Spike while we're gone." 

*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stopped pacing and turned to Buffy. "You don't get it luv."

"What don't I get that you are in love with me or that you are an evil disgusting thing?" Buffy spat. 

"You would like that wouldn't you. You want it to be that simple. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but it is a little more complicated than that" he stated while moving closer to her and invading her personal space. She held her ground and stared at him coldly almost daring him to continue. As she gazed into his eyes she could see his pain, hunger, longing and a few other emotions that she could not determine. His facial features softened and he stepped back. "Fine luv, have it your way. I'll be going," he said softly as he started out the kitchen door. 

"Is that it for the lesson. I sure didn't learn much" she called to him.

He stopped his shoulders sagged and his head dropped but he didn't turn to face her. "Buffy what do you want from me?" There was no answer from her, so he continued "Just like I thought. Do you get a little thrill from having someone as dangerous as me under your thumb?" When turning back to see her reaction he was met with a fist to the face. "I hit to little to close to home, didn't I luv" he laughed devilishly.

"Shut up Spike!" she yelled. 

"Come on Buffy, stop lying to yourself. What do you want from me? What do you want us to be?" He grabbed her by the shoulders and begged her for answers. "In your fantasies how does it play out? Are we just secret lovers that met so you can scratch some itch…." he paused for a moment before continuing "…or are we more?" 

Why did he have to look at her like that? Why was every single emotion he was feeling revealed on that beautiful sculptured face of his? Before she could think one word slipped from her lips "More."

Tremors raced through his body and his bottom lip quivered. A small smile crossed his lips and he sighed, "Buffy" just before his lips met hers. 

She clung to him with desperation. God help her, she had missed this so much. Her hands moved over his body and she wanted to drown in him. Strong hands ripped his shirt from his body, because she wanted to touch every inch of his flesh. 

She burned him with her touch. This woman was driving him insane, but he didn't care he just wanted more. No he could not let her do this to him again. Breaking off the kiss he pulled away just enough to see her face. "Buffy you know I'm your willing slave, but if I am only going to be some play thing to you then please stop now, because I don't have the strength" he pleaded with his eyes, his voice, and his heart. 

"Spike I want you but it is complicated and …………" the rest of her reply was cut off when he shouted, "Life is complicated. But your to afraid to even try." He shook his head as he stepped away from her. His left hand clutched his chest just over his heart as he continued, "That other slayer was willing to take a chance. She was afraid too, but she was brave enough to live in the world."

"Spike that is not fair and you know it. She did not have to endure the pain I did. Compared to my life hers is a picnic. I'm sorry if I can't make you promises. God, isn't it enough that I admit I want you?" she asked.

He gave her a sad smile and replied "Once I thought it was more than I could ever hope for, more than I ever deserved, but it is killing me Buffy. Every day a little piece of me dies, but I still can't walk away." His head and arms dropped in defeat. 

Buffy urgently needed to touch him. She placed a tentative hand on his chest. Her fingers lightly moved over him. Slowly he raised his head as his hands reached for her hand taking it from his chest and bringing it to his lips where he peppered it with light kisses. When she met his eyes, he whispered "I love you." 

She could not take it any longer and she pulled him to her for a demanding kiss. When they finally broke apart she whispered in his ear "I will try. It won't be like before. No more secrets from my friends, I promise." All he could think was there must be a God. 

TBC


	18. Needing You

Chapter 18

Needing you

"Buffy, Spike we're back and we brought ice cream" Willow called out as Dawn and her entered the front door. It took Buffy a second to realize that Willow was calling to her. Without thinking she pushed Spike away and tried to straighten her clothes and hair. Buffy was still a little disheveled when Dawn and Willow came into the kitchen. Willow took one look at the Buffy and Spike and knew something was amiss, but before she could say anything Buffy was digging into the grocery bag to find the ice cream. 

"You got three kinds strawberry, chocolate chip cookie dough, and mint chip. Willow my stomach loves you" Buffy said giving Willow a big smile. 

"Just think of me as the girl with the goodies" Willow declared. 

"Me too, I picked out the chocolate chip cookie dough. I know it's Spike's favorite" a happy Dawn added, while getting bowls and spoons out of the cabinet. "How much do you want Spike?" Dawn asked.

"I think I'll pass. There are things I should be doing, so I'll be taking off. See you ladies later, but I'll take a rain check on the ice cream" he said as he headed for the door. 

"Spike you can't leave. We have that thing" Buffy called after him. 

Spike stopped but didn't turn around. "And what thing would that be. Luv?" 

"That thing we were going to talk to the gang about" Buffy replied tentatively. 

Spike turned to face her, "Well I best be staying then, shouldn't I." A brief smile crossed his lips and he promptly told Dawn he would take a very large bowl of ice cream after all. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well Buffy are you going to spill about this thing you need to talk to us about?" Willow finally asked. 

Buffy glanced at Spike and took a deep breath. " It's like this Will," she voiced as she walked around the kitchen island until she was directly in front of Spike. Bending down she gently let her lips graze his. When she pulled away she could see astonishment as well as love and devotion on his face. That was all the encouragement she needed. "Spike and I are seeing each other" she declared never taking her eyes from his. 

Dawn squealed causing both Buffy and Spike jumped. "I knew it, I knew it. Oh my this is ……… soooo great" a jubilant Dawn yelled as she lunged at Buffy and Spike giving them both hugs. 

Dawn's outburst gave Willow time to think. She really wanted Buffy to be happy and she liked Spike. But liking someone didn't mean you thought they were good enough for your best friend. Watching Buffy, Dawn, and Spike hug and laugh she could see a lighthearted happiness that had been missing from the group since the whole Glory thing started. Then it dawned on her Buffy seemed whole. For the first time since they had brought her back she seemed whole. She wasn't laughing and putting on a happy face because it was expected of her. The realization warmed Willow's heart and lifted some of the guilt she had been carrying around for months. But, can I be ok with them as a couple? However, Willow's thoughts were cut short when Dawn called her name. 

"Willow isn't this great? I knew they were right for each other" Dawn enthusiastically expounded. 

Willow encountered three sets of eyes watching and anxiously waiting for her response. She thought about all they had been through and how happiness seemed fleeting at best on the hellmouth. If Buffy and Spike could find some happiness in this world then she could be happy for them. Willow smiled at them and said, "I think it's great too Dawn." The look of relief that crossed Buffy's face before she gave Willow a big hug told Willow just how much her approval meant to Buffy. 

The group decided to retire to the living room and finish talking about Spike and Buffy's new relationship. Spike sat in the armchair while Buffy sat on the armrest of the chair. He had one arm wrapped around her waist possessively, while the fingers on his other hand nervously made little patterns on her knee and thigh. Her arm was wrapped around his shoulders and neck and her fingers ideally played with his curly locks. She had messed it up enough earlier that it was no longer slicked down. She loved the way his hair curled and became unmanageable after they made love. Calm down Buffy you are sitting in a room with your best friend and sister she told herself. Keep those thought at bay at least for now. Returning her attention to Willow and Dawn she gave them both big smiles. 

"It was the journal wasn't it? They are in love and you could see what you could have with Spike. I'm right. I know I am right" Dawn told Buffy. 

Buffy groaned and told her " Maybe a little bit, but Dawn they are not us. Every thing that happens in your life changes you. Every event makes you someone new. That Buffy and I are miles from being alike."

"If that is true then why are you both attracted to Spike" Dawn asked.

"I said we were miles apart. I didn't say either of us was blind" Buffy retorted. That got a chuckle from Spike who had been very quiet since this whole conversation had started. 

"So you always thought I was hot" Spike smirked. Buffy swatted his chest and said, "Shut up Spike." That only got another chuckle from him and he pulled her onto his lap. There was no resistance from her and she made herself comfortable on his lap and let him wrap his arms around her. 

Willow watched them and thought if anyone was blind she was. How could she have not seen this? Her mind drifted back to when Buffy had found out that Spike was in love with her. Buffy was going on and on about Spike. What would have happened if I had told her that dating Spike might not be such a bad idea? Would she have considered it? The truth is, I never would have told her that, at least not than. I am not sure I believe it now, but I do know that Spike stayed after Buffy died and fought by our sides and helped with Dawn. Therefore, if she is happy with him than I am too. I wonder how Xander and Giles are going to take the news? I just hope Spike doesn't end up on the wrong end of a pointy stick. 

"I've had enough of this love fest. You two are getting way to cute for my taste, so why don't we get back to the journal" Dawn told the couple. 

Buffy glimpsed at Spike solemnly before turning to Dawn sand saying "I'm not going to be reading anymore of the journal. Spike and I talked about it and we both think we should leave well enough alone." 

"Your not serous. You promised!" Dawn yelled. 

"Dawn they are not us and I think we should let it go" Buffy told the upset teenager. 

"That's right. We all have to live with what Buffy wants. You got Spike and that is all you wanted so lets close the book. It doesn't matter what anyone else wants" Dawn said sarcastically. 

Willow chimed in "Dawn, maybe Buffy's right. I am not sure I want to know what my alternative universe self is like. Seeing your other self is not all it's cracked up to be. I should know. Besides it is up to Buffy, Whistler gave her the journal." 

"Fine everyone take Buffy's side. What else is new?" she said as she stormed out of the house.

Buffy got up to follow her, but Spike grabbed her hand and told her "Let me talk to her luv." Giving him a tentative nod she agreed and Spike headed out the door to find Dawn. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

He found her sitting on the ground leaning against a tree in the back yard. "What do you want?" Dawn barked at him. 

"Talk" he said as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his duster pocket and lit one. 

"There is nothing you can say that is going to make me forgive her" Dawn replied.

"Don't reckon there is, but there are a few things I am going to tell you anyway" he retorted. 

"Oh let me guess, Buffy is happy now. We are together and we must make Buffy happy" Dawn spouted. 

"I thought that was what you wanted too?" Spike asked. 

"Of course I want her happy, but she is not the only one interested in that journal" Dawn told him. Spike let out a sigh, but before he could say anything Dawn continued, "What if there is information that will help us defeat a Big Dad? They may know things that we don't."

"First Bit, not to likely that there would be a great deal of useful information about Big Bads except for me of course and I can tell you anything you need to know about me. It's a girl's diary not a watcher's journal. There is a big difference. Second, for the most part we have already faced the same demons they have and we are still standing" he tried to explain to her. 

"So as long as we are standing everything is alright?" she questioned. 

"Dawn try to understand. Maybe some of us can't relive some things even if they are happening to someone else. Think about who just showed up in the journal, my old grandsire Angelus. Dawn that was a bad time for Buffy and for me" he told her. 

"I remember, I was there too!" she retorted. 

"Don't think you do Dawn. You didn't live with that wanker for months. Didn't see him in action. Looking back I think that was when I really fell in love with your sister. I could empathize with her. The things that bloody bastard did to me and to her. I was a demon I could take it, but she was just a girl. She was the slayer of course, but still a girl. He did the same kind of things to Dru before he turned her. Kept telling him to just kill her. It wasn't right his little games. So you see I don't want her to have to relive that time. Too bloody painful for all of us!" Spike emphasized.

Dawn took a moment to reply. She knew she wasn't going to win this one. Spike may care about her and want to keep her save, but he loved Buffy and she would always come first with him. Taking a deep breath she asked "What if there is something in there about who and what I really am. Doesn't my peace of mind count for anything?"

Spike knew he had to be careful how he answered this one. "Dawn I'm sorry, but I think alternate Buffy's journal is about alternate Buffy. However, if Buffy lets me I could skim it and see if there is anything that might answer that question for you" he told her. 

"Just forget it! It's probably all about Buffy anyway" Dawn said as she got up from the ground and started to head into the house. 

Spike knew he hadn't helped much. After tossing his cigarette to the ground he followed the Dawn back into the house. 

TBC


	19. Finding peace within one's self

Chapter 19  
  
Buffy watched as Dawn raced by her storming up the stairs. When Spike reached Buffy he explained that he hadn't had much luck, however if Buffy would let him he could skim the journal and see if there was anything relating to Dawn in it.  
  
"I think that is what is bothering her. She still doesn't understand why she is here and if that would help" he stated.  
  
"Spike I don't know" Buffy said hesitantly, but his sincere expression made her relent. "You can have it for a few hours and only look for things about Dawn. And under no circumstances do you tell her a word without Okaying it with me first" she ordered him.  
  
"Deal Buffy. Should I tell her I am going to do it or wait until tomorrow?" he asked.  
  
"I don't think she would be thanking you tonight. Why don't you wait until tomorrow" Buffy answered. "I am going to go on patrol and while I'm gone you can read it."  
  
He brought his hand up to brush the wisps of hair away from her face and murmured "I wanted to patrol with you and maybe have a little quality time after."  
  
She smiled at him and ran her hands leisurely up his chest and wrapped them around his neck. "If you get reading we might still be able to arrange that quality time," she said breathlessly just before pulling his mouth down for a kiss.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After a very uneventful patrol Buffy found Spike lounging in the living room reading the journal and snacking on microwave popcorn. Closing the book he motioned for her to take a seat on his lap. Not needing to be asked twice she curled up on his lap. "That was a quick patrol. Should I assume it was a quiet night or were you just in a hurry to get back to me?" he teased her.  
  
Swatting him in the chest she giggled and said "Ego much. It was a quiet night."  
  
Pulling her forward he started to nibble on her right ear. "Hey stop that. Don't we have something to discuss?" she asked while pulling away from him.  
  
"I thought we were together now. You love me. I love you. We having snogging and if your lucky some shagging" Spike said suggestively as he cocked his head to one side and gave her a sexy smile.  
  
"If I'm lucky! Stop trying to distract me. You know darn well I am talking about Dawn and the journal" she told him.  
  
"Nothin' to it luv. Mostly it was Buffy fawning over me. Spike is so hot and sexy. I can't wait to get my hands on his hot body. How did I ever get so lucky? I can't wait to have his..." he was cut off by a smack to the head. "Hey what was that for?" he asked giving her a quizzical look.  
  
"Dawn" she demanded.  
  
"Nothing to worry about there. You can give the book back without thinking you missed something" he told her.  
  
"What about Buffy and Spike? Are they still together? Not that it would matter after all they are not us" she muttered trying to cover her true interest.  
  
"They are still together and if you really want to know what happens the book is right there" he replied as he eyed the book on the coffee table.  
  
"No, I guess not. I have what I want right here. I don't need to look for something in a book" she answered as she pulled him in for a hug. She missed the look of relieve that crossed his face.  
  
Soon her lips were on his and everything else in the world disappeared. All that remained were two hearts, one beating and one that hadn't beat in 126 years. Warm hands caressed chilled flesh, while cold hands soothed fevered skin. Buffy breathlessly tried to speak, "Spike we can't do this here. My room...Oh, oh that feels so..."  
  
Reluctantly she pulled his face away from the rosy nipple that his tongue and lips were practically worshipping. However, instead of getting him to stop she only managed to redirect his attention back to her pink well kissed lips. When his tongue met hers she knew her resolve was failing and they may never make it to her room. But, just as these thoughts were going through her mind Spike stood up, cradling her in his arms, he headed for the stairs.  
  
Within seconds he was at her bedroom door. They had never made love in her house let alone her room. This was one of the barriers she had placed on their relationship. If she didn't have sex with him in her own home, in her own bed than it wasn't love and it wasn't real.  
  
Spike hesitated for a few seconds at the entrance to her bedroom. However, it seemed like an eternity to both of them.  
  
"Spike make love to me" she begged as her small hands stroked his back and her lips trailed kisses along his neck.  
  
Pulling her tighter into his embrace he whispered "Buffy, I will always be yours." Then he crossed the last barrier to her heart.  
  
As they neared her bed she practically ripped his shirt from his body. Clothes were torn and tossed, but neither appeared to care. All that mattered was touching the fire that only occurred when they were together. They were so impatient that when he entered her they were still both partially clothed.  
  
Spike knew how to move, where to touch, how much pressure to apply, as well as what words to whisper to ignite her passion. As he moved within her he sensed her approaching orgasm, so he increased his pace and simultaneously reached down to caress her soft breasts. A final little twist of her nipples and a slight change of his angle of entry were all that was needed for her to cry out his name in release. He followed her into the abyss moments later.  
  
The second time was less frantic but every bit as erotic as the first. Gentle fingertips grazed her skin as the rest of her clothing was slowly removed. As new skin was exposed it was lavished with delicate kisses and cool puffs of air from his sensual lips.  
  
Nothing outside of Heaven should feel this good she thought. Deciding to return the favor she finished removing his clothes, but she lacked his patience and her greedy little hands and lips could not get enough of him. Soon nimble kisses turned into love bites as her hands clutched him possessively.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was just after 3:30 am when Dawn made her way to the kitchen to get something to eat. After ransacking the cabinets and refrigerator she entered the living room carrying a plate containing leftover chicken, potato chips, and cookies. She almost dropped the coke she was drinking when she spotted the journal sitting on the coffee table.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Buffy woke slowly to the feel of delicate kisses on her neck and lithe fingers running up and down her stomach. The cool body pressed to her back and bottom didn't move at all except for tiny twitches coming from one very hard part that smuggled up to her rear. She let out a soft moan and called Spike's name.  
  
"Right here baby" he murmured into her ear after nibbling on her earlobe.  
  
It was his turn to moan as Buffy started grinding her bottom into his erection. "You're going to be the death of me yet Slayer" he groaned as his fingers made their way down to the junction between her thighs and two fingers slowly slid into her body. She was close to orgasm when he removed them only to replace them with his shaft. He moved in and out of her at a frantic pace while his fingers caressed first her nipples than her clit. Moments after they both found release, Buffy turned in his arms to stare lovingly into his eyes and touch his chiseled face.  
  
"I love you Buffy" he whispered before finding her lips with his own.  
  
She wanted the kiss to go on forever, but all too soon he ended it and started whispering more loving endearments as he gently caressed her body. She had never realized how much of a romantic Spike could be. But that was her fault wasn't it, because she never let him. She still craved the dark wild erotic sex, but she also needed and wanted this romantic gentle love making too. How could she have been such an idiot? It was right her at her finger tips and she almost threw it way. Almost threw him away. Just the thought of loosing him made her grab him and hold onto him as if letting go for a millisecond would cause her to loose him forever.  
  
"Buffy, don't need to hold on so tight luv. I'm not going anywhere Baby" he told her as his fingers lifted her chin so he could peer into her eyes. The tears forming in her eyes caused Spike visible distress. Choking out the words painfully he asked, "Buffy, do you regret what happened?"  
  
With his question Buffy realized he had misinterpreted her actions and her tears. Bringing up her hands she cradled his face and brought her lips to his. "No, I'll never regret letting you into my life or into my heart." As she spoke those words a tear raced down her cheek.  
  
With shaky hands Spike's thumb caught the tear. "Then why the tears Luv?" he asked.  
  
She couldn't meet his eyes, so her eyes dropped to stare at her fingers ideally drawing circles on Spike's chest. She could feel the tension in his body as he waited for her to speak. "I was. I was so mean to you. I hurt her so much. I don't understand how you can even look at me. Why didn't you run?" she asked as she lifted her eyes to meet his.  
  
Sighing softly he replied, "That was never an option. I know you Buffy, the good and the bad. I've seen you at your best as well as your worst. I've watched you deal with things that would have crushed the spirit and heart of a lesson person. What I see when I look at you is a woman with the spirit and guts of a warrior, but the heart and soul of a romantic."  
  
As Buffy went to speak Spike placed a finger over her lips and told her, "Let me finish Luv. As far as the way you treated me, I'm not saying that it didn't hurt, because it did. However, I know you had every right to be wary of me. I've brought a lot of pain and destruction to this world. I've hurt you and the people you care about. Nevertheless, loving you has made me want to be a better man. But, no matter what I want I am still a demon, with a demon's bloodlust and penchant for violence. I never want you to forget that, but I promise you that I will try with every bit of my being to be the kind of man you deserve."  
  
"You are the kind of man I deserve" she came back with. "I just wish I had seen it sooner. All the time I wasted trying to push you away" she said apologetically.  
  
"I know what you are thinking" he countered.  
  
"Oh, reading my mind now?" she retorted.  
  
"No, but you are saying we could have been happily together for years, but your wrong!" he told her.  
  
"What! No I am not" she cried as she pushed him away and gave him her best why are you not agreeing with me face.  
  
"Now don't get your knickers in a twist. All I'm saying is those other two are in love, but I don't think they have been tested like we have. Think about it. What happens ten years down the road when she starts wondering what her life would have been like had she chosen a normal boyfriend? You had that chance Luv and it didn't work even though Captain Cardboard should have been your perfect partner. Plus, what happens when she finally takes off those rose colored glasses she is wearing and really sees all of him? You never saw me through rose colored glasses, only Peaches had that honor" he told her.  
  
"Hey, I never saw Angel through rose colored glasses" she countered. He merely stared at her until she grumbled, "Okay, maybe I did a little bit."  
  
"No, wouldn't change places with him or anyone else. Every moment has been adding up to this one right here, with me holding you. Love is easy when it doesn't have to be tested and we have been tested again and again" he said as he smiled at her lovingly.  
  
"The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are" she said with a far away look in her eyes.  
  
"And you wonder why I love you" he replied.  
  
"I didn't think it was possible to love you any more than I already did, but I was wrong. Spike I love you with every part of my being and I wouldn't change places with anyone either."  
  
The look of total joy that crossed his face before he pulled her to him for a kiss made all the pain and anguish she had endured in her short life worth it if it brought her to this moment in time.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Buffy was in the kitchen trying to make cookies while she waited for Whistler to arrive. Cooking of any kind was not a talent that Buffy excelled at. But so far she had only burned one batch, so all in all it was turning out to be a better than average day of cooking for her.  
  
She was just taking out the last batch when a knock came from the kitchen door. Opening it she found Whistler smiling at her. He was wearing the same crumpled suit he had on several days ago. "Come in Whistler. Would you like some cookies? They are pretty good if I do say so myself."  
  
"No, thanks can't stomach human food." He replied.  
  
"I don't think I want to know, do I?" she questioned.  
  
"Probably not" he answered.  
  
"You're here for the journal, so let me go get it" Buffy said as she exited the kitchen.  
  
When she returned he asked "Did it help?"  
  
"Yes, it did. And thanks for bringing it" she answered as she handed it to him.  
  
"I guess I better get going. Have to get this back. There is only a small window of time in which to return it. I'm glad you found it useful" he said as he started to walk toward the door.  
  
"Whistler, wait" Buffy called out.  
  
He turned to look at her. "Is there something else you wanted to know?" he asked.  
  
"No, more like something I wanted to tell you" she replied. He stood silently waiting for her to continue. "I was really angry with you the other day. But that is not something new. I've been angry with a lot of people lately. Blaming everyone for how messed up I thought my life was. I was looking for someone to make everything better when the only person that can make my life better is me. And how bad is my life anyway? I have saved the whole world about eight times. I saved my graduating class. I like to think I helped two vampires start on the road to redemption. I have a sister and friends that love me. I have a boyfriend that loves me and I love him."  
  
"I take it you and Spike worked out your differences?" he asked genuinely interested.  
  
"Oh yeah, I think we are good. I think we are better than good" she replied trying not to smile too much.  
  
"I'm glad for both or you" he told her.  
  
"You didn't mess up. You know that don't you" she said to a stunned Whistler.  
  
"Not sure I understand how you can say that slayer" he said.  
  
"The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. Everything that has happened to me has made me the kind of person that can fall in love with two different vampires, die twice, defeat a god and still keep my bouncy shampoo-commercial hair" she said with a hint of laugher in her voice.  
  
It took him a moment but he started to laugh and a moment later she was laughing with him.  
  
"I see why he loves you. You are truly a remarkable woman Buffy Summers" he told her as he clutched the journal in his hand. "Did you get a chance to finish it?" he asked.  
  
"Didn't need to, everything that I need is right here" she answered.  
  
He smiled and nodded. "Good luck Miss Summers" was his parting words as he left her.  
  
A few minutes later Dawn entered the house and Buffy called out for her to come into the kitchen. Dawn reluctantly entered the kitchen.  
  
"What?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I made cookies and I'm sorry" Buffy told her.  
  
"What, like that is some big deal. I have tasted your cookies" Dawn replied.  
  
"Hey, they are good. Try one. Plus I ordered pizza" she added.  
  
"Pineapple pizza" she asked.  
  
"Yes, and I have one other thing to tell you. Spike skimmed through the journal before I gave it back. He says there was nothing about where the key comes from or what it is" she told a sad faced Dawn. "Hey, has that ever stopped us from finding out anything before. We will just keep looking until we have all the information that there is. I promise."  
  
"I'm going to go to my room for awhile" Dawn told her as she headed out of the room.  
  
"I'll call you when the pizza gets here" Buffy yelled after her.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dawn made her way to her room and went straight to her bed. Pulling up the corner of her mattress she pulled out a stack of papers from under it. Maybe Spike missed something she thought. She quickly started to scan the pages she had made copies of. She had just found a page that mentioned her when Buffy called out that the pizza was there.  
  
Dawn quickly tucked the pages back under her mattress and headed down the stairs to join Buffy.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
She found Willow, Spike and Buffy opening pizza boxes. "Starting without me" she told them.  
  
"Dawn, Willow picked up a couple of videos, so why don't you and Spike take the pizzas and videos into the living room while Willow and I get the drinks" Buffy told her.  
  
"A nice warm mug of blood, pizza, my beautiful girlfriend curled up on his lap, and a video what more could a vamp ask for" Spike said as he pulled Buffy forward for a kiss.  
  
Dawn clearing her throat brought Buffy and Spike back to the present. "Sorry Bit, let me help you with those pizzas. I hope she rented something good. If I have to sit through The Goodbye Girl, Terms of Endearment, or When Harry Met Sally again I just might have to stake myself."  
  
After Dawn and Spike left the room, Willow said "You really love him."  
  
"Very much" Buffy replied.  
  
"I'm glad Buffy, but I have one favor to ask. When Xander gets back wait to tell him until I am far, far away like the state of Wyoming for instance" Willow said.  
  
"Oh crap!" was all Buffy said.  
  
THE END.  
  
I really want to thank everyone for all the wonderful feedback. I am so sorry it took me so long to finish the story. I want to especially thank all my friends from the Fan Forum board.  
  
I am not sure if I will do a sequel yet. 


End file.
